Hello! I am new to this lifestyle and have been reading the forums like crazy trying to learn as much as I can. I recently read “I is for Introducing (Semi-Vanilla Partners/Spouses) to BDSM”. When I told my husband about my interest in BDSM he said that I was “sick and perverted.” He has no idea how beautiful a D/S relationship is. I tried to explain and encouraged him to go online get informed but he won’t budge.



Other members have stated that they are in a vanilla/semi-vanilla marriage/relationship and that they fill their BDSM needs with others. This is not going to work for me. I care about him and could not disrespect him by going outside of the marriage. (Is this really fair to you and your partner?)



I have to hide who I am from family, friends, co-workers, the lady at the check-out….Why would I want to hide who I really am from the one person I shouldn’t have to? (Someone who you can be yourself with and not be judged.)



I know we all hide something. But that something shouldn’t be WHO we really are. We only get one life. We don’t always get the life we want. Don’t we deserve to have the partner we want and need? Doesn't our partner deserve to be with someone who is giving them their true self?