New here ...

[beastbookbody]

Hello everybody,

As the title of my post says, I'm new here, and so I look forward to meeting everybody. As far as being new goes, I'll go one step further and say that I'm new to the BDSM scene in general. I've fantasized about being used since I was a little girl, but the only thing I've ever been is abused. Due to my past treatment, I'm obviously a bit skeptical about doing this, but thoughts of being a CONSENSUAL submissive have never left my mind. All that being said, I was wondering if anybody (dominants or submissives) could tell me what made these thoughts start for them, how they got involved in a D/s relationship, how I could go about doing it and if it's even something I should be doing. I know that due to my past experiences with rape, abuse, etc. I'd have to take things slow, but I feel as though without a doubt I at least need to try this. Perhaps I need a mentor or something? Any advice would be truly appreciated.

Many thanks,
Dolly

[karley]

Hi and welcome! I hope you enjoy your time here and find what you're looking for.

[Liushka]

Hi and welcome to the Library!

[denuseri]

Welcome to the site.

I highly advise against getting any single "mentor" or other such figure, especially online where you cannot ever really know the other person and its all to easy for them to take advantage of one's online niavity.

[beastbookbody]

Thank you for the tip! I just don't want to make any mistakes or offend anybody.

[beastbookbody]

Hello everybody and thanks for the welcome!

[Stone]

hello and welcome.
there is no simple answer to your questions we are go our own ways some are into bdsm and dont even know they are or what its called for me i have always been this way but due to proper male training i acted like soemthing i was not jsut took awhile to get rid of that bad programming

[MrUnderhill]

Hi I am not able to answer you question of 'why do you feel the way you do about being used' but I will be looking at you post as I am here looking for the same understanding of my self. I do hope you keep safe though and find the answers that you need.

[MasterPT]

Hello
Like you I'm also new to this world and for me I believe the reason to discover our selfs as BDSM lovers and praticants, goes to the fact of wanting to achieve extremes, but within pleasure. You told us that dispite being raped and abused in the past you like BDSM, maybe that was the trigger for you join this wonderfull world. It probably there was something that in ur conscientious you like and only now you realise it. It would even not be strange if you started to have rape fantasies. I belive that what you need is a good Dom that besides dominating you, cares about you. And if the way to start is online or webcam or whatever, go for it ( sorry denuseri ), just get to know the Dom a lil 1st before start having fun.

Best wishes
MasterPT

[denuseri]

Oh No worries from me Master PT:

Though I will always reserve the right to disagree about using a web- cam as being safe.

I should have perhaps been more clear in my own responce to the op.

I didn't say that there wasnt a safe way to do it online, or that online couldn't be a useful learning tool, or even a way of utilizing some re-exposure therapy for a bdsm practiconer who has survived a tramatic situation in the past. I used it for that very thing myself when I first joined.



I was just urging that one don't run off first thing into the online arms of someone you cant really know right off the git go and allow them to take control of your life and or limit your online actions or acces to information. A lot of us get cuaght up in the fantasy aspects of this online thing over its practical aspects and often end up becoming blind to things we would have otherwise wished we stayed aware of and avoid is all.

Hindsight is 20/20.

Just FYI for any who are interested: We discuss several different aspects conserning abuse, safety, ways a survivor can get back into bdsm, unique needs that submissives who are survivors have, ways to help dominants with submissives who are survivors, places to go for help etc in the following thread at length:

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...or-submissives

[Nicipac]

Hello and Welcome
The best way to describe my journeys beginning would be adolescent sexual fantasy fueled by rebellious behavior. Then one day as luck or divined intervention would have it I made a comment in a social gathering about wouldn't it be nice to just walk up and smack that lovely ass and see the hand print left behind...A guy standing close by came over and asked me why? Long story short after several hours of questions and answers He invited me to my first Dungeon. It took me 3 months of watching, learning, questions and answers before I was finally allowed to play.

[scarlet_85]

I always feel like I got lucky with my Master. A very good friend of mine that just so happened to let his dominant side slip in random conversation.

I instantly knew that I wanted to be His slave. I maintain so much control and power in every aspect of my life that when it came to this, I needed to lose control.

Communication has been huge in our relationship, but I will admit that I used internet tools to get a really good idea of what BDSM is. Google and I are very close! Lol and I was lucky enough to stumble across this site. The more I read up on the lifestyle, the more clear I was on what kind of BDSM role and kinks I was interested in. I also realized that you can't believe everything you read about BDSM. The lifestyle is based on yours and you Master's wants and desires.

So, as said above... a good Dom, some research, and some communication will get you on your way to finding the inner sub in you.

Welcome to the site by the way I hope you find everything you are looking for!,