how to be sure if your submissive or a switch

[madhatter84]

I have never been in the kind of relastionship where it was brought up
But i like to be tied up and to share that feeling with another
i also fight what i am told to do but will give in if they try long enough
i feel bad when i win even if im right
please help me

[scarlet_85]

Well... I suppose its possible that you could be a switch. Do you have the urge to Dom/me over another person?

I know that I am a sub 100% however, I often think that I would like to Domme another female. I think the experience would be great. My Master approves of this under the condition that he get to watch. I would not call myself a switch though. I would never want to trade places with my Master. And I only submit to him.

As far as putting up a fight or resisting goes, I struggle with that as well. My Master has recently told me that my "bratty" side brings out his inner Dom more and he actually requests that I act like that from time to time. Usually, when I'm in brat mode, the play sessions are harder. I take on more pain.

I think that if you are struggling really bad with it all, communicate with whoever you're playing with and attempt to find a solution. I think communication is a key factor in BDSM.

Play well

[madhatter84]

thank you

[Aibo]

Just get going and get some hands on experience and it soon will solve itself. Because it also depend on your partner what role you'll end up with.
That at least in my experience. And yes I started out as switch myself, but have developed into dominant. And that is not to a small part from those I have had relationships with.

[Nicipac]

I have never been in the kind of relastionship where it was brought up
But i like to be tied up and to share that feeling with another
i also fight what i am told to do but will give in if they try long enough
i feel bad when i win even if im right
please help me

to share that feeling with another...do you mean to share your desire to be tied up or do you mean your eyes lite up at the thought of tying someone up as you want to be tied up?.....you fight doing as you are told...that is human nature in the vanilla world.....you feel bad even if you are right...submissive tendency.....please help me....submissive

from the limited information you provide.....my assessment of you would be an untrained submissive
do you only play on-line or do you play in real life as well?

personally I think you would perform better in the role of slave....then after years of training and play...you may move into the role of a submissive

you may be able to play a Dom in a r/t scene if there is a need for the extra player, I don't think you could carry it off on-line....or as the dominant Dom in a r/t scene.......Be safe and Play well

[denuseri]

I dont believe you need to worry about any titular distinctions so early into things in any event.

[madhatter84]

do you only play on-line or do you play in real life as well?

i once did selfbondage because i couldn't find another to share my feelings with but have since given up on that because of the danger, i am untrained, and as to the feeling i meant the warmth of being tied

[Dog's Lady]

Madhatter-
I know that I am a little of everything, so deciding what I am was never an issue, but I will offer this advice: read, read, and read some more. On the forums, stories online and off, non-fiction books about BDSM, and then think about what appeals to you most. Also, something lots of people will tell you here, talk with your partner (and then talk some more--then try stuff!) Ozme has suggested to me that I keep a journal, even though my lover/Master does not ask it of me, just to sort out my own thoughts. Maybe even, without worrying about grades or grammar, include "book reports" on what you read, noting what you liked and what you didn't. This can lead to a list of things you would like to try that you can share with your partner-trading those lists is a great way to start a conversation, and there is nothing wrong with trying both sides to see what you really enjoy. There is a great thread in the switches section, with a title about people looking down on switches that has a lot of really good stuff about being top or bottom or both.
Hope this helps.

[LovelyLiz]

I'm very new to this but I consider myself a switch even though, I would only switch with another female. If I had a Dom, I would not want to dominate him but I would want to be a senior slave or a 2nd in command with another female sub.

[madhatter84]

Thank you all for your help. I am still not sure which I where I have landed on the situation, but have gained a lot of insight to both sides since I originally started this thread. I hope that you will keep adding advice to it in case someone else comes along who needs it. Thank you.