Anyone else notice this our is it just me.

[A3xIZ_Vet]

The issue I'm having on this site (and any other for that mater) is the trust issue. I have found that many women on this site have been so inundated with vague or vulger messages that they are now reluctant to give anyone a chance. I'm on this site to make friends and maybe develop an online relationship because I'm away so much. But with subs being forced to be so guarded the don't know who is real and who if just here for a cheap thrill. I hate to post an issue with no solution, but unfortunately I have none. Am I the only one who sees this happening?

[Austerus]

I haven't had any trouble developing friendships here, but I really am just developing friendships as I am already in a relationship.

If you're looking to "make friends" as a trojan horse to a relationship, particularly a BDSM one, then you're going to find what "nice guys" have found for thousands of years: that women, especially subs, want a man who is confident and straightforward, and who expresses his intentions clearly. Becoming "friends" with someone you are interested in and then down the road trying to leverage into a relationship is something a lot of women have to deal with, and are probably sick of.

If on the other hand you're actually seriously looking to "make friends" then try the Fun & Games and Question Fetish sections of the forums. They're both great for getting to know people on the site over a period of time, and people are open and friendly there as long as you're not creepy or weird.

[Snark]

It takes time; just like anywhere else. Yes, many subs have been trolled here just as else where. Being honest, respectful and communicative will reveal a very large number of delightful subs here. It just requires some patience.

[Ozme52]

I've made many online and offline friends here. But it took two years before anyone was willing to meet me. It takes a consistent message and a consistent presence. 3 posts won't do it. Chatting (only) won't do it.

Stick around. Particpate and contribute. Be prepared to talk to plenty of posers and wannabees who may not actually follow through with an in-the-flesh meeting. Patience.

If that doesn't work, feel free to ask this question again in a couple of years.

[Kore]

You may have noticed the “guarding” of ones “self” because of personal past experiences and at the same time, you just entered a community of people that do know each other and in more ways than “owner, sub, owned and slapping Buddha”. There are many members in this community that have developed friendships over a long period of time. Of the many sites that you may visit, this one has quite a few particular flavors. If you enjoy simple interactions, it’s here. If you enjoy being a composer and thinker, it’s also here. If you want to learn or be a mentor, it’s here as well.

The mention of honesty and trust will always be an issue but over time and honestly expressing yourself, you’ll notice a few more doors opening.

You will meet what some members refer to as; posers, wannabees and bullshit artists. Anything can be come through these doors; it’s the individual that has the ability to express honor, truth with reasonable common sense and that good standing members will see those qualities. You’ll also meet people that “strut” and feel it necessary for their own reasons. If and when something gets out of hand, I’m sure the admins will “nip it in the bud”

Mostly, you’ll find good people that want to connect within a community to call their own. Being consistent, taking the time to read, learn and standing up for yourself if the need arises, is what makes people take notice.

Read between the lines and don't have high expectations.