My partner and I are really new at BDSM.
We don't play with fear but I still have some. For me the fear is admitting to my partner some of the things that I actually WANT her to know but I'm scared to admit.

Regarding consensual non-consent:
I saw a video on XR University where Aiden Star and Ian Rath were talking about consensual non-consent. By this they mean that one person asks to other to force something on him or her and he or she wants to not like it. They said don't do it. It never works out. On the other hand, if you think you WOULD like whatever it is, then go for it.
I think the advice is keep your consent consensual!