Okay, I'm having much the same problem as the other subbies who posted in the 'Ever feel like you're just not in the mood to be a sub?' thread. However, ironically, I -am- in the mood for sexual, erotic BDSM play. What I haven't been in the mood for, for the past few days, is real discipline. My dom and I have been in an online D/s relationship for several months now, and there is a basic underlying set of rules which govern my conduct towards him at all times. Each time I break those, a punishment ensues, which is generally not fun, but not beyond what I can take.

Unfortunately, what has been happening all the past week or so is only the real discipline, not the play. I wish I could tell him 'I wish we'd play more and you'd relax on my behaviour a bit!' However, that would be some nefarious topping from the bottom, as some of you might agree with me. Also, a catch-22 would occur. See, if I explain my frustration and feelings to him and he plays more and restricts less because it is what I wish, that would not make me happy at all. Kinda defeats the whole purpose of the BDSM play, to me. Oh, it would be different if I begged him, in role, to do so and he did. But if I spoke to him as an equal partner and he did it because he didn't want me to be unhappy... it would not satisfy me at all.

See the dilemma? Argh.