Solis

It's a day about love, an emotion that we too often screw up. We expect effortless magic, neglect the work, ignore the risk. In truth, it's harder and more bitter than we wish. It's work. Anais Nin once wrote, "Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings."

But you already knew that, didn't you? It's why you're here. In hopes of another love, deeper, stronger, simpler. But the rules never seem to change, neither Master nor sub can exempt themselves from the need to work at love. From the need to defend their part of it, to withstand the mistakes that look like attacks, or the thoughtlessness - innocent human frailty -- that cuts more deeply the heart that's more exposed.

Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your life . .. You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the mind. It's a soul hurt, a body hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love.

The character "Rose Walker" from Neil Gaiman's graphic novel, The Sandman #65

Rose concludes, "I hate love."

We shouldn't, can't, hate love. But we do have to respect it. Treat it with care, dear friends. Whether you hold the leash, or are held by it, you have a precious gift. Don't drop it. Don't take it for granted. Don't think "contact today can't be that important." Don't think, "surely she understands, I have no need to explain." Don't delude yourself with self-pitying fantasies: "Masters don't feel" or "subs don't need to know this." Don't allow "later" to be "the right time" for admitting your feelings. Don't let what you have wither, for once it does, the tears you shed will not be water enough to restore it.