fellintobed

I know that dating a vanilla person is not something that everyone in the BDSM world feels themselves capable of doing, and I respect that. In my case, by the time Boyfriend and I got around to talking openly about our sexual interests, I had fallen for him strongly enough that I couldn't imagine breaking up with him solely because our kinks were different. And you know what? I'm glad I didn't. I hadn't had vanilla sex since high school, and Boyfriend has shown me that it can be incredibly, delightfully hot. I have told him straight-up that he has taught me to love vanilla sex - and it's true.

Just as my personal morals wouldn't allow me to dump someone on the basis of different kinks/fetishes (yes, Boyfriend and other vanilla people have fetishes), I cannot cheat. CANNOT. Now granted, I define "cheating" as "doing something sexual with another person without prior discussion with and consent from one's primary partner". That is, if I tell Boyfriend that I want to find a BDSM play partner, and we talk it over to determine how I would go about doing this in a way that is mutually respectful for us, then it isn't cheating. If I found a BDSM play partner without talking to Boyfriend about it first, then it is cheating.

And so there is a certain person that we both know, and I have a major crush on this person, and I strongly suspect that the crush is mutual. I have been going back and forth in my head for some time about whether to attempt acting on this crush - I was frankly scared that Boyfriend would be hurt if he found out. When I realized that my crush was strong enough that I was actually contemplating cheating (NOOOOO BAD FELL!!!), I gave in and confessed it to Boyfriend. Was he hurt? Surprisingly, no. In fact, he thought it over and gave me permission to broach the subject with this person. So now I don't have to cheat in order to act on my crush.

Yay. Even if I was wrong about the crush being mutual, even if this person and I don't end up doing anything together... yay. Being able to act guilt-free is a glorious thing.