hoosakitty

This was not intended to be a blog, rather an entry on my own profile seen only by my friends....but the word count was too long, and i choose not to edit it, fearing that any change will lessen its meaning. So it is left to fate as to who will read it:

i've come to realize that metamorphosis is not necessarily a good thing. Generally, my attitude towards it has been positive, assuming that the changing of one's self is a betterment....the caterpillar emerging into a new and beautiful creature. In this assumption, i have been terribly wrong. Perhaps my motives for change were too selfish...a need to adapt that i should have fought against. Of course, it is human nature to avoid pain...but, i have understood too late that avoiding hurt has resulted in the heartache of those closest to me. Love has been compromised, loyalties strained, and friendships all but lost because i thought that i could become something that has always been alien to me. Saying that i have made bad choices this past year is an understatement...and i apologize, with all the sincerity i have, to those they have affected. All that is left to me is to make harder ones...praying that i make the right ones this time...to make them as selflessly as possible.

And so i begin another phase of my life with a proclamation of identity....

i am a foolish, jealous, caring woman that needs to love, and be loved....one all consuming, viciously intense love, shared only between T/two individuals, with the intent of melding into O/one complete entity of being. In this way, and only this way, will i remain selfish. i will live with my mistakes, not ignoring them...learning from them...changing because of them. And most importantly, i will be true to the person i know i am inside...to the honest woman that those around me could always count on in the past, and will now be able to again.

meapte semper, my Dragon....in aeternum