bpqueen

Over the weekend, my Master threw a party and I managed to provoke a scene from my husband by ensconsing myself in a tree (very drunk) and refusing to come down, while another Dom aggressively sat above me in a kilt. I was punished for this unruly act, as well as tested as to my pain threshhold. This was my first flogging from Master, as well as my first flogging ever. While I discovered that the pain did not turn me on, I did internalize much of the pain, and Master tested my stamina and tolerance. I did not cry out, and only squirmed at the very end. He was very pleased with me.

I have also brought my husband into my decision to pursue BDSM with Master for a while, and he approves of my initiative in exploring this aspect of myself. I don't know what to do with so much approval right now! I never dreamed that my husband would understand, let alone approve of my initiative in admitting certain things to myself and finding an outlet to work on them. It's just that I want to learn to be a good submissive, but feel uncomfortable with him participating until I am trained by Master. I guess that I don't want him to be disappointed.

Ob another note, Master also said that at different stages of our relationship, I will be treated in different ways. He says that I even may get a pillow, a jeweled collar and toys for my enjoyment. I really want a chew toy! Also, Master and I have our first official gathering this weekend and I am nervous. I have deferred to him in regards to group play and which of his friends are privy to our relationship. He will tell me later in the week how I must act in this group setting. But I must admit that I am nervous. Most of these people are used to seeing in me a forceful and dominant personality, and I wonder what they will think if they see me bound to the St Andrew's cross being flogged my Master on top of the bruises that I will have even more visible at that time. I trust Master, and he has my list of biggest fears, so I trust him not to push me too hard too fast, but am still scared. I also need to work on my honorifics and respectful requests. I feel that I may have a lot more punishment coming if I cannot manage to get these things right.