Non-SSC experiences?

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Originally Posted by Pearlgem

I don't have a safeword. Is that considered risky behaviour, beyond the pale, non consensual? It doesn't mean to say I can't get something to stop if it's beyond me, I just can't do it that way; I trust my Master to 'read' me. I tried having a safeword and I hopelessly overused it. I find it much better not to have that little 'get out clause' lingering temptingly in my head and just put myself under my Master's judgement of what I can take (we're talking pain here). It makes him incredibly attentive to me (and me to him) and I feel safe to trust him. He doesn't let me down.

I would not advise this generally, folks, but in my relationship with my Master of six years, this is how things have developed.

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I think that over time, a D/s relationship can develop along this path. My Owner has begun to tread that path - the last time we were together He took away my safeword for a particular act. He told me the day before that it would not be available to me, so I had time to prepare myself mentally. Frankly, I would never ever do that with anyone else. But, we've been together long enough (a year and a half) and trust each other enough to be able to begin experimenting with the "edgier" aspects of D/s. I like that we are in that place together.

BTW - it was HOT! :D

Unfortunately I've had plenty of non-ssc experiences. My ex husband turned our shared love of BDSM into abuse and domestic violence. There wasn't a day that went by that at some point, I thought I was going to die. He's choke me until right when my eyes would start to roll back and stop before I'd pass out and he'd come close to killing me neither every day. It got to the point that I didn't want to have anything to do with him, let alone sexually.

My current relationship is so much better. We never have any non-ssc experiences. If one of us doesn't consent, we don't do it. Period. I feel safe finally and I love it.

Thanks LolitaDoll for sharing your experiences. There can be a thin line sometimes between BDSM and real abuse- but that line is consent. If it wasn't something you really wanted- he was just being an asshole and didn't really care about your feelings. You sound brave and I'm glad you found the strength to get out, move on, and not give up your desires.


Jeanne-

Sounds hot to me! ;-)

I am so sorry you went through the same kind of thing as too many of us HUGS you tight Lolita.

We do have a support group here at the site just for submissives that have survived such things and secondary survivors are welcome as well.

It can be found through the following link and or the Abuse support group sancturary found in the social groups section of your profiles.

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...ad.php?t=15730

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Originally Posted by Belgarold

And this is a BDSM site that had a long history of being welcoming to all of those that are interested in finding out more about the lifestyle. To get petulant and snippy and, yes, superior, as SilverWolf did was unnecessary and rude. THAT is where my comments were directed, not in your direction.

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Petulant, snippy... superior?

LMAO*

Dude, get a grip.

*laughing my ass off

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Originally Posted by SilverWulf

Petulant, snippy... superior?

LMAO*

Dude, get a grip.

*laughing my ass off

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Annnnnnnnnd my point is made.

:-)

Boys, would you like to take your balls out to the yard? The grown ups are talking.

Or just take your balls out?

Oh, no. Maybe put them away. Thanks.

GENTLEMEN & LADIES!!!!!!! THIS IS A LAST & FINAL WARNING. Keep the conversation CIVIL & direct the comments at the TOPIC not at PEOPLE. Any further PERSONALLY DIRECTED COMMENTS that have any hint of flamming or innuendo of the same will be pulled & you will be banned without further warning.

ENOUGH!!!!!!!