Does It Hurt?

[AshleyMartinez]

a really noob question, but im really intrested in learning about everything lol to see if i wanna try it one day...
but

does it hurt being tied up? gagged? everything else?

[gagged_Louise]

Gags can hurt sometimes; if it's really filling (like a ball gag or a totally stuffing cloth gag, two socks stuffed into your mouth and taped shut) and strapped tight, they'll make the jaws ache a bit, and you get a dry, parched feeling in your mouth after a while. On the other hand it gives a lot of drool, esp. if your mouth is spread out but not plainly filled (ball gags and ring gags) because you can't keep it in with your lips.

I'm a big fan of ring gags and that one will give lots of drool, on the other hand that's part of what turns your Dominant on, seeing that you can't keep control of your mouth. I guess you'll have to try out, the longest I've worn a gag continuously is around three hours but as with other stuff, you start with a short time to see what it's like and then maybe you'll want to keep it longer.

Rope, belts and scarves etc doesn't hurt in general IMO, but being bound tight and squirming does make you sweat a lot sometimes (also because you're bouind to get turned on and aware of how surrendered you are... ) Being bound with heavy duct tape can hurt, it doesn't feel comfortable to say the least and I've avoided it though r/l robbers sometimes use it because it's around and very hard to get free from if it's run a few times and the victim can't move and reach a pair of scissors or something.

[Aussiegirl1]

Hmm interesting questions. I for one find ball gags hard to use, as I tend to gag, but have been using a bit gag which is far better for me to use.

I agree with gagged-Louise, so long as you are not tied so tight that your circulation is affected, rope does not really hurt. I find it such a turn on to be tied up, but you also need to trust the person doing it. Some bondage positions are far more challenging than others and not for beginners, so they can hurt.

It is also a matter of personal preference, some subs love tight bondage while others love other forms of play. I think whatever you are doing, start slow and really think about how it makes you feel. I started with a bit of simple self bondage, nothing I couldn't get out of in a hurry, but it let me know what ropes felt like before I let someone else tie me up!

Hope this helps.

Aussiegirl

[seekingsusie]

I think whatever you are doing, start slow and really think about how it makes you feel.
Aussiegirl

Oh, yes. That's the key to plumbing the depths of this experience, isn't it?

[isabeau6]

a really noob question, but im really intrested in learning about everything lol to see if i wanna try it one day...
but

does it hurt being tied up? gagged? everything else?

've only been tied during one week's session of tickling...and the thing that hurt was when he used handcuffs..although he placed washcloths in between the cuffs, it still hurt me.. my wrists are so small he had to tighten them, which hurt no matter how much it was clothed if that makes sense lol...and one time my arms were pulled straight up above my head, and it hurt afterwards...hurt my shoulders for a bit.. i think it all depends on how you are tied and what is used...i was only gagged briefly with his socks eww hehe..and that didn't hurt..

btw you are adorable...

[nk_lion]

No questions are noob questions, we all started from scratch.

[Rhabbi]

No questions are noob questions, we all started from scratch.

Nothing really to add except my hearty endorsement of the above quote.

[gagged_Louise]

totally agree nk!

[gloombunny]

I would say that if being tied up is painful all by itself, you should probably do it differently. Bondage done wrong can be dangerous, and until you've got enough experience to know which methods and positions are painful but safe, you shouldn't take any chances.

[Sir_Russell]

AshleyMartinez if it hurt your Dom isn't doing it right or isn't paying attention.
My personal kink is to put morgan in odd and uncomfortable positions and then see how deep into sub-space I can put her and how many times I can make her cum. Do to this kink I have to be very aware of her condition because once the endorphynes begin to flow she will only feel pleasure, there are some exceptions, and once she is down from that high then the pain can take over.

One of the best parts to the life is that the same sensors that feel pain are the ones that feel pleasure, so we confuse that sensor so that minor pain feel lovely.

I hope this makes sense to you.

[Rabbit1]

the bondage itself should not hurt ----there are ways to prevent it and a good Dom should know them ---it is the beginners that have no knowledge of this --and it does tend to turn a new sub off if it is painful ----I stress using a safe word -----were if the pain is unbearable ---the use of that safe word stops everything----as far as gags ---that is for advanced use ----for Doms and subs who totally trust each other and know each others comfort levels

now a safe word has to be something not normally used in conversation ---I should not be "stop or no or quit" but a word you would never use except to comunicate that things need to stop now ----

[AshleyMartinez]

thanks for all the replies... and i dont have a dom yet, im still trying to learn wether its for me or not. but it does sound intresting, but the first thign i probably gotta do is find a dom LOL

[DrGeordie]

Actually you've already done the first thing right. Find a bunch of people who've been there before you and ask every question you can think of. Get some idea of what you're expecting before you start and hopefully all your surprises should be good ones. Basically, do a bit of homework which you seem to be doing anyway. If you haven't already check out Aesops Tips for beginners thread at the top of this forum, it's a good place to start.

Enough rambling, let me pass on the things that were passed to me when I first came here not so long ago. Honesty, communication, trust and respect. Stick to those and you won't go far wrong.

As has already been mentioned there is no such thing as a stupid question, ask away. We were all new once, some of us still are

Good luck finding a Dom and welcome to the Library

DrG

[nk_lion]

thanks for all the replies... and i dont have a dom yet, im still trying to learn wether its for me or not. but it does sound intresting, but the first thign i probably gotta do is find a dom LOL

Check this page out before finding a dom:
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3647

Oh and I suggest you hold of finding a dom just yet, look around these boards till you are completely comfortable with the whole bdsm concept.

[sub84]

thanks for all the replies... and i dont have a dom yet, im still trying to learn wether its for me or not. but it does sound intresting, but the first thign i probably gotta do is find a dom LOL

im very new to this life too i have only experimented with mild bondage so far. i dont have much advice to give as i dont have much more experience than you do, but i will say be careful in choosing your dom. try to find someone with experience i tried with my previous bf and found that he didnt have enough self control to tune into me and know if it was going too far.

[icey]

there's been some good advice on this thread and im solidly with Sir_Russell regarding his feelings on safewords but im surprised that so far almost everyone has said bondage doesnt hurt!

it shouldnt and generally doesnt but as with anything things can and do go wrong on occasions and especially for someone new its important to keep that in mind.

all it takes is for a slight misjudgement of tightness either too tight or too loose (too loose will work the rope around) a knot or the tie in the wrong place over a nerve,ligaments for example,preferably you need to have some knowledge of the anatomy beforehand.
and no matter what the tie,where the tie or even how tight the tie there is a real risk of nerve damage.

even such things as tiredness can affect how your body will react,ive been in complicated ties for lengths of time often longer than the usual 'recommended' timespan and spaced out to the eyeballs and as snug as a swaddled baby (rope subs will know what i mean by that *g*) but ive also on a rare occasion or two been in basic ties and begun to ache fairly quickly.

i know a very experienced and good rigger and he would be the first to tell you never for one minute make the mistake of believing bondage to be safe or pain free.

bondage is actually one of the most dangerous activities in bdsm,remember that originally bondage was designed for the capture and torture of prisoners in japan and while it has been adapted over the years particularly in the western world the principles and most basic ties are still the same.

its the best thing the japanese ever invented

[Sir_Russell]

Rabbit1 I hate to disagree with you but unless we are roleplaying no means just that as does stop. Problem with all safe words is that once she has gone beyond caring about anything but the sensation she will not use the safe word when she should. I find that I have to watch her closely to be sure this doesn't happen.

Oh gags, for any of us when you gag the sub give them a physical signal to use or my favorite for when she is spread eagled standing something to drop that will make noise as it hits the floor. Funny thing is that morgan can do that better then using her safe word.

[Rabbit1]

Rabbit1 I hate to disagree with you but unless we are roleplaying no means just that as does stop. Problem with all safe words is that once she has gone beyond caring about anything but the sensation she will not use the safe word when she should. I find that I have to watch her closely to be sure this doesn't happen.

Oh gags, for any of us when you gag the sub give them a physical signal to use or my favorite for when she is spread eagled standing something to drop that will make noise as it hits the floor. Funny thing is that morgan can do that better then using her safe word.

guess you have never used a feather to tickle your sub after she is bound ---usually the first word from her is stop --or quit ---but she really does not mean it -----that is why one universal safe word is good ---even in spanking most subs will say stop and not really mean it ----it is just natural --or has been in my experience ---so for me and my sub a universal safe word works great ---since she likes to be tickled and spanked ---

of course I have only been doing this for 25 years so what do I know ---what ever works for you is great ---but I am talking about a new sub ---or a new dom ---I see a lot of misconceptions ---you say dom and sub and people in not in the lifestile automaticly see Leather clad people whips and chains ---chambers of horror ---pure perverts ---S&M can be a part of BDSM but not the only part you do not have to be a Sadist to be a Dom as I do love and care for my sub ---

[isabeau6]

guess you have never used a feather to tickle your sub after she is bound ---usually the first word from her is stop --or quit ---but she really does not mean it -----that is why one universal safe word is good ---even in spanking most subs will say stop and not really mean it ----it is just natural --or has been in my experience ---so for me and my sub a universal safe word works great ---since she likes to be tickled and spanked ---

of course I have only been doing this for 25 years so what do I know ---what ever works for you is great ---but I am talking about a new sub ---or a new dom ---I see a lot of misconceptions ---you say dom and sub and people in not in the lifestile automaticly see Leather clad people whips and chains ---chambers of horror ---pure perverts ---S&M can be a part of BDSM but not the only part you do not have to be a Sadist to be a Dom as I do love and care for my sub ---

o the images that brings up..tickling with a feather...

safewords are used in tickling however, such as when the ticklee just absolutely can't take it anymore..or the breathing becomes difficult..or she/he needs to pee...grrr.....many people think tickling is easy fluff compared to other forms of play, but there are pain subs/slaves who actually prefer to be beaten rather than tickled as they cannot stand it..and often it can be used as punishment for them..and then a safe word is definitely needed in case it becomes horribly unbearable..but that kind of defeats the purpose of tickle torture, which is my favorite..

but a safeword should always be an option...and if gagged, there are safety signals that are agreed upon by the people involved...i don't speak from experience but from what i've been told....damn did i make any sense?

and don't rush into the first Dom that comes along..because of how pretty you are and young, you will be bombarded by those who wish to become your Dom...take your time..you are young..you have your whole life ahead of you...and most importantly of all...HAVE FUN

[Flaming_Redhead]

I have TMJ (temporomandibular joint) syndrome in my left jaw, so gags do tend to hurt me in a short period of time. The same can be said of giving oral sex and chewing gum or tough meat. Bondage in and of itself doesn't hurt. Nothing should be tied so tight that it hurts because lack of circulation can cause tissue damage that is sometimes permanent, such as damage to the radial nerve in your wrist, leading to tingling and numbness in the affected limb. If using rope, it should be tied in such a way as to allow quick removal in case of a problem, like a clove hitch or similar knot. Leather restraints that are padded are a good choice. My wrists are so tiny that those have to be buckled in the last hole in order to keep me from pulling out of them, but they don't cut off the circulation.

[Ozme52]

Don't jump for the first dominant who wants to collar you.

[Ocean_Soul]

I offer you my collar Ashley, I hope you accept it.

[Ocean_Soul]

*crosses his fingers in hope that he's the second*

[AshleyMartinez]

safe word? whats this about?

[DrGeordie]

A safe word is exactly what it says, it 's a safety net. A safe word is something a sub can say at any point in a session which essentially means "stop everything right now this is too much for me". It should be a word that isn't used in normal conversation, i.e. 'stop' is not a good choice of safeword. So if a sub is in the middle of a scene and decides something hurts too much or they're too scared to continue they would say their safeword. Any Dom worth their salt will then stop what they're doing and spend as long as it takes talking to the sub until they find out what the problem was and what the subs feelings on the situation are and reassuring them that they are safe.

The idea is discussed at some length here http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...light=safeword

Hope that helps

[ElectricBadger]

Bondage doesn't necessarily hurt; done well, it won't hurt at all (unless you want it to). Think of a snug pair of gloves; restrictive, a definite feeling of something there, but not painful.

Some people do enjoy some pain. But don't assume that wanting to be tied up means you have to want to be whipped! Some people prefer tickling, the feel of "force", or just the constrictive feel. Even for those into pain, bondage itself shouldn't be overly painful: it should be more along the lines of a hard yoga class, not medieval torture (no matter what the porn stars act out). Some ache, some stretch, but not real pain. For that, use the whips -- floggers and crops can give a lot more sting without the risk of tearing joints.

Most subs indicate to me that yes, gags do hurt after being worn for awhile; but again, this isn't tearing, screaming pain, it's muscle ache.

"Everything else" is a huge category...and not the same for all people. For instance, anal is torture for some people, and others never have a problem; pony harness is just clothing, nipple clamps can be fairly intense: the list goes on. An important thing to keep in mind is that sadism/masochism (enjoying painful eroticism) is only one aspect of BDSM/kink.

And ultimately, the goal even in sadism/masochism is not PAIN -- it's pleasure. If you haven't experienced, on some level, that pain can be pleasurable, S & M isn't for you -- and that's perfectly okay (there's still a whole wonderful world of kink out there, ropes and chains and all).

As for finding a Dom...don't take it too seriously. Doms are just normal people who happen to like kinky sex. Find a good one the way you'd find any potential partner: build trust, build understanding, and then move forward with the rest.

[_ID_]

When I talk with someone new such as you are, and they are interested in some sort of activity. I generally ask them to help me understand their interests more by completing a checklist (google BDSM checklist). If they really don't have any idea what they want, just know they want to explore. Starting things off with bondage, or a spanking is a good way to judge if they are going to enjoy pain or bondage more, or perhaps both. Then working in a scale of intensity over time (usually months, to years) to see where their interests are headed.

As stated before. Don't take the first Dom to come along.

[Sir_Russell]

You will a questionaire here that is a check list and may give you ideas to about what makes you wet by thinking about.

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=9385http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=9385

[wolfs_lilgirl]

hi and welcomee... when I was a nwebie.. this.. board helpt me in every way.. here is were i found my Sir... good luck!...

from what i lived.. i would recomend you that if you think you find someone you fill confortable with etc.... set.. like.. 1 or 2 weeks... you beeing his or her sub... then after the 2 weeks.. talk about how you feel.. and then make a dessision.. that way you can get to know him/ her and yourself..

good luck

[Sir_Russell]

good advice but please when first meeting the Dom both of you should have set up calls with code words to friends. The friends must know where you will be at and the times you will call. A code word for call the cops NOW incase you are in need of rescueing