Dom for a Day

[J-Go]

Over the few months that I have been on this site, I have met some very interesting friends and gotten some really good advice. As a relatively new Dom I often ask other Dom’s and Subs about technique, limits etc. But there is one thing that has shocked me just a bit…how wicked subs can be when suggesting discipline or play ideas for another sub! I have to say you subbies out there have to hope another subbie doesn’t decide to be your Dom one day!
So here is the question…what would you do if you were Dom for a Day?

[gemmy]

I am not, nor could be wicked or mean like that tyvm *sticks out tongue* lol

I wouldn't want to ever be Dom for a day, nor would I like to be asked what I could suggest as I just don't have the mind-set for it.

This gurl is slave all the way and can really only see the light from me to Him (whoever that should be) and what personally pleases Him.

I would certainly need "The Domly for Dummies" book to even begin to try but could just me tying up a sub, laughing my ass off as I read the next step in what to do, all the while trying to be serious and stern hehehe - I just don't have it in me I'm afraid *giggles madly*

[icey]

i can always think up tasks and punishments lol but i couldnt actually put them into practice...i wouldnt have a clue how to Domme somebody, it just isnt there for me.
id be like ..errrm please could i have a coffee? its ok if you're busy or dont want to i can do it,i dont mind...would you like me to get you one? lol

[butterflySlave4u]

i'm TRULY not wired that way either, icey...i had an online Dom that i eventually found out was a switch (before i even KNEW what a switch was!), and we ended up in a roleplay that made me his mother, and him a 3 year old baby with a 8" cock....LOL!! Wasn't very well thought out on his part anyway, but it ended very badly...actually with convulsive laughter! and he made me swear to never bring it up again...he TRIED to Dom from the bottom, and that failed too....but i agree, some just don't have it in them....*wonders quietly what wicked subs J-Go has been talking to?*

[angelic.zest]

i could probably think of a few cruel yet satisfying things to do with a sub, if i was a Dom/me for a day. *weg*...

i just wont let out my secrets lol

[Alex Bragi]

Damn good quesiton, J-Go--*gg* it's funny you know but I always think of J-Go as being like some kind of masculine version of J-Lo... Ah, but I digress. *ss* Well, I think it would depend on who I was domming. I mean imagine being George Bush's domme for the day?

[~faerie~]

i have thougth about it several times as it is something my Master and are interested in, me topping another slave, that is. however i am not sure i could go thru with it, Master has had me practice being stern and Domly. i'm pretty sure i could do some of the same things that i like being done to me, but i would probably end up giggling and laughing.
*smiles* sorry no evil subby here. However i could really get into the whole forced orgasms. i might be able to manage that.

[tina2008]

Hmmmm......great topic. I must ponder this question as I feel my latent Domme tendencies lurking about. heh heh

[DowntownAmber]

Heh heh heh...

[Tojo]

I believe all subs have an evil Dom lurking inside them- the most experienced & knowledgeable one I know has begun dominating her guy. It's scary listening to the things she says in such a matter-of-fact way.

[deigja]

wow this thread makes me wonder too, if there are som hidden tendencies to switch somewhere inside me, as since i read it for the first time, ideas keep popping up in my head. In fact, at the beginning of me trying to figure out what my desires really were, i ended up in a roleplay with a more than stupid wannabe dom which suddenly became pretty submissive. i played it a long way to show him that what he had tried on me was not really dominating but rather making me laugh. stil lit did not turn me on. I wonder if it is more that i know what i like used on me, how i like to be treated and can imagine how to use it best on others? as far as I can tell this was nothing sexual for me, still it was fun and perhaps I did just not jet meet the right submissive...

to answer the original question: i´d propably make him/her as hot as I possibly could while denying orgasm for quite a while and then make him/her orgasm from a mixture of pleasure and pain.

Oops. Now you know what my phantasies turn around a lot.
*blushing a little*

[ChainsOfGonzo]

A bit late to the punch, but whatever...

My Dom and I have "traded rolls" for a day, after he noted that sometimes, just for a moment, I grab control and shake it by the throat.

What I found is that I CAN dom, and I can do it convincingly... but I just don't enjoy it.

The moments when I "grab control" aren't about control as much as they are to probe a response from Him. I don't do "bad" things or anything, I just make my presence very known in a "I know you need me, too" kind of way.

I am dominating in my outside life. I am actually a very charismatic and powerful person, but I have no desire to dominate.

Just because you can doesn't mean you should...

[gemmy]

Just because you can doesn't mean you should...

[ashtonDs]

ChainsOfGonzo, so we're "a little late," I don't hear any complaining.

I thought about this a while before responding and I'm still a little bit unsure of my answer but...

Being a Dom/me is not only about the Dom/me, (Oh, I hope I don't get into trouble here.) just as being a sub is not only about the sub. If you are in a relationship (as opposed to someone who only finds temporary play partners) the whole thing is about what happens between you and your partner, not just what happens in your own head, (or on your own behind) ~giggle~ sorry couldn't resist that.

It is quite possible that even a diehard sub could top and top well if they realize that they are giving their bottom the best experience possible. It is also quite possible that a switch is not the best person to answer this question. But still, I am mainly on the submissive side and don't have a "dominant" personality, whatever that is. When I think of topping the thing that turns me on is peeling my partner off the ceiling when everything is over. As a day to day Dom I would have a little more trouble.

When all is said and done, all healthy people have some of the "other" in us. A man no matter how "manly" still has what some would call a feminine side and a woman has a bit of a masculine side. That ultimately allows us to appreciate the other's point of view.

A total sub would be a doormat, literally, if he or she didn't have enough selfishness in their heart to use a safeword or even to leave a situation if it became dangerous.

An absolute Dom/me without a bit of empathy would be a total cold-hearted tyrant and who would want to bottom for someone like that (outside of a character in a story)?

This is on it's face a simple question. When you get down and examine it it's a lot more complicated.

[gemmy]

ChainsOfGonzo, so we're "a little late," I don't hear any complaining.

I thought about this a while before responding and I'm still a little bit unsure of my answer but...

Being a Dom/me is not only about the Dom/me, (Oh, I hope I don't get into trouble here.) just as being a sub is not only about the sub. If you are in a relationship (as opposed to someone who only finds temporary play partners) the whole thing is about what happens between you and your partner, not just what happens in your own head, (or on your own behind) ~giggle~ sorry couldn't resist that.

It is quite possible that even a diehard sub could top and top well if they realize that they are giving their bottom the best experience possible. It is also quite possible that a switch is not the best person to answer this question. But still, I am mainly on the submissive side and don't have a "dominant" personality, whatever that is. When I think of topping the thing that turns me on is peeling my partner off the ceiling when everything is over. As a day to day Dom I would have a little more trouble.

When all is said and done, all healthy people have some of the "other" in us. A man no matter how "manly" still has what some would call a feminine side and a woman has a bit of a masculine side. That ultimately allows us to appreciate the other's point of view.

A total sub would be a doormat, literally, if he or she didn't have enough selfishness in their heart to use a safeword or even to leave a situation if it became dangerous.

An absolute Dom/me without a bit of empathy would be a total cold-hearted tyrant and who would want to bottom for someone like that (outside of a character in a story)?

This is on it's face a simple question. When you get down and examine it it's a lot more complicated.

I agree ash, we all have both of sides within us but I've always and only am sub, couldn't, wouldn't, shouldn't ever try Domming. Number one, it repulses me in a way I can't even describe so would do absolutly nothing for me to even bother. If a Dominant wanted me to, to please him, then he wouldn't be my Dominant simply lol

Even in a situation of adding say another gurl to the equation, I would still sub to both of them

To each their own and many find different degrees of seperation and good on them; hey whatever works for each of us right?

[tessa]

What an interesting thought to ponder. I can't put in in the context of "Dom for a day". Maybe "Top for a day"? Still, very interesting to imagine upon.

Based on who your conversation was with and the subject matter you described, I wonder if it has more to do with one having sadistic tendencies than with one having the desire to top/dom.

But yeah, I'll be thinking about this one. If for nothing more than to think up a really good story plot.

[crazy_grrluk]

chuckles to self

i can be as evil as the next slave regarding anothers punishment etc etc but i could never Domme anyone... I would slip back to being me too quick

[good_girl]

It's interesting to me that I come across this post now, I was having a conversation with a Dom I know just the other day and through the course of this conversation I made a comment that we never know what will be in 5 years...he responded with "in 5 years you will be Domme"
I almost fell out of my chair laughing, can't even imagine myself that way and really have no desire to either...but he stood firm and reminded me of how much I have already changed since we first met.
It makes me curious now, is this a common thing, for subs to change or to even want to change?
I personally feel more comfortable in myself now than I ever have in my life, I don't want that to change.

[butterflySlave4u]

smiles....can you say "Switch"?

it happens....

[tessa]

smiles....can you say "Switch"?

You know, I thought about this term when I first read the question. It seemed to fit. However, I read some responses here and thought about my own feelings on the matter, and I'm wondering if it does. And because I wonder, I have a lot of questions.

I have no desire whatsoever to domme anyone, male or female, and yet I have sadistic desires. It seems that others here have responded in the same way. So I'm led to wonder- does having sadistic desires mean that one has a desire to dom another? It's difficult for me to reconcile a 'yes' answer to that question based on what I know to be true for me. And how does this fit in with the whole concept of switching? Does it at all? Or is it another idea entirely? And if it is another idea, what idea is it??

Anyone else have any thoughts that might help with my clear as mud ideas on this topic? Hopefully so?

[butterflySlave4u]

it sounds to me, tessa, like you have a pure masochistic streak running through you

and Domme or no...those sadistic desires you have, are you aiming them at yourself, or someone else? either physically, or in your own mind? do these thoughts turn you on?


there are Doms who wander through here who could help you sort those thoughts out more readily than i could, but it seems that this might be a place to start....

[good_girl]

smiles....can you say "Switch"?

it happens....

I can understand how it may appear this way, but as tessa said I to have no desire to Dom anyone else, in fact the thought of it is a major turn off for me. It struck me as very strange that he would even suggest that this would be a possibility and since then I find myself questioning weather or not I will remain content as I am, it was only about 2 years ago when I realized and came to terms with who I am and the freedom I feel is amazing, I don't ever want that feeling to fade.

[Kitten4DADDY]

Great Question!!!

I have to say I am quite wicked, and have very severe thoughts when in the mood strikes...It is usually severe fantasies for myself that I reverse the role on. Does that make sense?

We have played the switch game a time or two and he always ends up topping from the bottom, so to speak. It does get frustrating at times. I will plan and try to execute the plan, all this with his fantasies in mind, but he eventually will turn it around on me and punish me for "over stepping" my bounds. LOL

Last time this took place it was very intense. I did egg him on quite a bit, but what good is it being a Dom for a day if I cannot enjoy all the benefits? It seems to me that his fantasy of being on bottom, is better left that way. He cannot take what he dishes out.

I have a lot of limits of what I can do to him as a Dom as it is, I think it is more the fact he just wants a break from being in control. Does anyone else go through this?

I never really want to be dom for a day or any amount of time, it has taken me years to work my way up to it. I have to psych myself up for several days in advance to take on this task, because it just isn't in me.

I think I would do better being more Dominant over another female (sub) with my hubby, than trying to be dominant over hubby himself. It is a severe turn off trying to dominate some one who is bigger, stronger, and definitely more dominate by nature. I try reading stories and all to get myself in the right frame of mind for it, and like I stated previously, we have tried it a time or two. Maybe I am just so horrible at it, that he just takes the reigns from me because I am failing miserably. I really hate to disappoint him in any area and have given it a lot of effort, just to please him, but alas it seems as if I am doomed in that area of pleasing him...