Recipe for a good first meeting

[crikey_2004]

I've just re-read some of the horror stories relating to first time experiences and it made me wonder if there's a recipe a potential dom could use to ensure the first time is good for all parties involved.

In the not-too-distant future I'm going to travel 3.000 miles and meet the sub I've been chatting with since the start of this year, and I want it to be as much fun as we've visualized it. Actually I take that back. I want it to be nearly as good in REAL life as it has so far been fun to imagine in the story she's helping me with.

I began investigating this lifestyle not sure what I was, and have found myself being comfortable as her o/l dom. Now I don't want to ruin it by being unprepared for a real life scene and although it may seem 'subbie' to some, I want it to be everything she's ever dreamed about. That includes meeting place, length spent in the scene, tools needed etc.

This will be her first time too, and left in my sub's hands, she believes she wants to merely be collared, humiliated and used, resulting in orgasmic pleasure like never before. But my vanilla experience tells me that sometimes what we think we want isn't always what gets us off in r/l...

So Dom/mes and subs with first-time and first-hand experiences to share would sure make my preparations easier!

[Sir_Russell]

For the first time you must stay very aware of her condition, don't expect her to remember a safe word if she is too far along, or paniced. Ask her how she is doing often. Keep it low key and tell her that her safety and well being are your greatest concern.

I don't believe in letting a slave top from the bottom but with a first timer you have to allow that. She will understand if you tell her this in advance. You will still have the pleasure of taking her where she has never been before.

Add to each session and take away more of her control each time as you learn her physical signals. PLEASE REMEMBER she will forget to use her safeword and that is almost a guarantee, take no for no at first, ask often and enjoy.

[cariad]

The magic of my first months of submission was that whenever he gave me a new experience he never pushed particularly hard and always left me hungry for more.

Might not work for everyone - but it did for me.

Wishing you both a wonderful time, and just thinking that whilst you obviously both hope it will be wonderful, perhaps it is best not to set yourselves targets which are too high, since you could be setting yourself up to fail.

cariad

[Rhabbi]

I think it is best just to take it as slow as possible, remember that even if you played online, it is differant in person, and realx.

[crikey_2004]

Thank you for the pointers. It was especially enlightening to learn that she may forget the safeword and I will keep that in the forefront of my mind when the time comes. We wont be alone either, as she's roped in a friend who'll be there and who's already decided they want to participate too. I guess there's nothing like jumping in at the deep end... To start, I plan on just keeping to the S/m type stuff, as she often fantasizes about being a Gorean slave girl and I think that'll be a good place to begin the r/l journey.

[pixie_dust]

Congrats!! Hope everything works out well and is everything to hope for.

[TomOfSweden]

Everybodies different. So it's hard to give any good advice. Best advice I can give is to listen, (because I used to suck at it). If she's the kind of girl who rushes into things head first without thinking, then you need to be very careful. If she's the suspicious kind you need to show you're reliable etc. She will tell you what she needs in one way or another. All you need to do is to be attentive.

It takes two to dance. You might do everything right and it still doesn't work. You might do everything wrong and she might love you more because of it. I think honesty is good. She's probably as nervous as you are. If the two of you are important to one another and both of you want to build something, then being nervous about it is just healthy.

[Dragon's muse]

i hate to sound negative, but you should both also remember that online chemistry does not always translate to real time. Also, lots of people fantasize about things that will totally freak them out in person.

Bon chance.

rose

[crikey_2004]

negative and realistic are two differen beasts, methinks... it'll be exciting to find out though!