Daddy Doms and Little Girls

[Flaming_Redhead]

My Daddy and I were having a discussion about BDSM relationship dynamics. He asked me what role I had in mind. Right away, I told him I'm a little girl, though recently I had gotten confused as to whether little girls are considered submissive or a category all their own, but I'm also a switch. He informed me that he considers little girls to be slaves. For those of you who "know" me, you can imagine the shock and horror this little tidbit of information brought about in my mind. I immediately told him that I was definitely not a slave and that, in fact, some people don't even recognize me as truly submissive, which probably isn't a good thing to tell a potential dominant partner. *cof cof*

Daddy calmly explained that I could be his slave/little girl and Mistress of the house with a service slave of my own. Of course, I would still be accountable to him even in the presence of my own slave. Needless to say, I was taken aback. He went on to say that a Master/slave relationship can be whatever the couple want to make of it. I don't have to be treated as subhuman. I understood that part, though I was still very leery of the idea of being a slave for some reason. What I still didn't understand was why he views little girls as slaves.

Yesterday, it finally came to me, and Daddy was proud of me for figuring it out all by myself. In a parent/child relationship, the child really has no say in anything. The child may want things and ask nicely or whine and beg, but ultimately, the parent has the final say. The type of relationship I've been seeking mirrors it exactly. I want to be taken care of and treated like a princess, but I also want to be told what to do and punished if I fail to comply. In fact, I already have a spanking waiting for me next time I visit him for failure to vacuum the mess I made before I left. *grins* I forgot. *tries to look all innocent and shit*

Anyway, for those of you who are in this particular type of dynamic, do you see yourself or your partner as a slave? Submissive? Something else entirely? Please also explain the reasoning behind the term you favor.

[butterflySlave4u]

there is an excellent post here, started by delia, in November of last year, that approaches just this question....

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...ad.php?t=13424

[Flaming_Redhead]

delia's thread addresses what a slave is. My question is specifically directed towards those in Daddy Dom and little girl relationships simply because I'm curious to see how others define it for themselves. I'm wondering whether others see it as a kinder, gentler version of dominance and submission or more of a total power exchange. I had actually always viewed it as the kinder version, but I can see where being totally dependent on Daddy for everything and his word as law would be more Old School Master/slave than I first thought.

[butterflySlave4u]

oops, i'm sorry, i misunderstood the question entirely!

[Just A Girl]

I wouldn't consider myself a slave, but I would a submissive...
if the two can be seperate?

I mean... my dominant is exactly that, a dominant, not a master...

if that makes sense...


shame i'm single though

[tessa]

Good question, sweetie. This should make for some interesting conversation. Saying that, you're gonna get as many different opinions as there are people on this site, maybe even more opinions, as one person may have a few to throw at this.

Slave/submissive/whore/hole to fuck- however it's termed, your relationship will become what the two of you make it.

And if you're a really good little girl, he might just decide what's what for you.

~huggles~

[Just A Girl]

here's wishing eh?

[lily27]

Hey red, good to see you around!!

From an outside perspective, I would personally classify little girls as its own category, someplace between submissive and slave.

A little girl would have very little power, and very little say. Daddy makes all the final decisions. So to me, this would be *more* than a sub.

However, a slave's only focus should be in pleasing her Master, whereas a little girl certainly does not always have that focus.

So if you feel the need for a label, that is where I would stick it... but I am also a big fan of just taking what works for you, from wherever you happen to find it, smooshing it all together and calling it great!

I hope it all works out, no matter what you decide.

[VixeyandPhoenix]

I would agree with Lily27's description.
To me, the dynamics of both types of relationships complement each other. I think you could make it as "kind and gentle" or as completely controlling as works for you.
As far as definitions go, I would say "little girl" is it's own category whether or not you have any interest in BDSM. But, I think it is entirely possible to be both little girl and submissive, little girl and slave, or any middle ground you like. I would assume that every relationship's own dynamic would dictate where you fall in definition...
Personally, I see it as somewhere in between submissive and slave (loosely defined)... but that's just me...

~vixey

[gemmy]

Definitions, labels, boxes!! I can't believe anyone has dared say the words without being shunned for trying to say them lol

Personally, and only personally, I would say 'little girls' are not slaves (if there is such a real definition of one) as they are needing total caring for and are of a bratty attention needing type (yes we are all different, none of us have a 'type' I know), and defiant if that attention is not received.

A slave (by LOOSE translation) is completely submissive and defies nothing her Master hands down, so I would (personally) see them as their own....(dare I say it) category (even though none of us fit any category in BDSM).

We are ALL different, need different things but funny how it seems, we do ALL fall into one sort of category or another - as hard as everyone tries to be different, none of us would be on this board, if we didn't share commonalities or similarities

To each their own, whatever they call it really

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

I agree with lily here. I call myself a submissive, though I have been a slave in the past. And Master and I often do roleplaying where He is Daddy and I am His babygirl. I believe as gem does, that W/we still do fall into categories, even when W/we are all different. It is a human need to put labels and names to things, people, groups, etc. Humans love categorizing everything. Master and I pick and choose what W/we want and need from the varieties that are expressed within BDSM. Sometimes I seem to be a slave, other times a submissive, other times a little girl, etc. It's been the best way for U/us to live and grow within the lifestyle.

[gemmy]

I agree with lily here. I call myself a submissive, though I have been a slave in the past. And Master and I often do roleplaying where He is Daddy and I am His babygirl. I believe as gem does, that W/we still do fall into categories, even when W/we are all different. It is a human need to put labels and names to things, people, groups, etc. Humans love categorizing everything. Master and I pick and choose what W/we want and need from the varieties that are expressed within BDSM. Sometimes I seem to be a slave, other times a submissive, other times a little girl, etc. It's been the best way for U/us to live and grow within the lifestyle.

hehehe perfect

Regardless how we take what we take it's M/s to us or D/s to them or, or, or

At the end of the day, i think, for me anything outside of vanilla missionary is BDSM and BDSM is all about being able to finally define your own piece without shame for wanting it, to truly be open to another

If what makes your world work is..."xyz" definition or not; likely someone else will feel the same and a greater number will feel 'different' lol

Isn't it great that we can all have One interest, a common thought, and be all thinking differently

[Flaming_Redhead]

From an outside perspective, I would personally classify little girls as its own category, someplace between submissive and slave.

A little girl would have very little power, and very little say. Daddy makes all the final decisions. So to me, this would be *more* than a sub.

However, a slave's only focus should be in pleasing her Master, whereas a little girl certainly does not always have that focus.

Hey, lily! I totally agree with you. We've been discussing it some more, and I've agreed that being a little girl isn't too far from being a slave. Therefore, the leap isn't quite as great as I'd thought. I just hadn't ever run into anyone I'd be willing to give that amount of control to because, honestly, I hadn't ever run into anyone who actually wanted that amount of control....or maybe they did want the control but didn't want the responsibility that comes with it, in which case hell would have to freeze over....*grins* Daddy sees me as a woman child....a mixture of a little girl and a woman able to take a beating...or give one. He's very interested in seeing me spank someone...not him, of course. *ggls* Certainly, he'll spoil me, but the focus will always be on making Daddy/Master happy....and if it isn't, that's where discipline comes in. Woo hoo!!! lol

Personally, and only personally, I would say 'little girls' are not slaves (if there is such a real definition of one) as they are needing total caring for and are of a bratty attention needing type (yes we are all different, none of us have a 'type' I know), and defiant if that attention is not received.

A slave (by LOOSE translation) is completely submissive and defies nothing her Master hands down, so I would (personally) see them as their own....(dare I say it) category (even though none of us fit any category in BDSM).

I fail to see how needing total caring for does not make one a slave. A slave is owned property. If you own a car, it does not take care of itself. You are responsible for the care and maintenance, i.e. gas (food), oil (check-ups), tires (clothes and shoes), etc. Daddy has no qualms about taking care of his property. To him, it allows his slave to focus on her main responsibility which is to please him.

I agree, though, that a little girl isn't *quite* a slave, but it's not too far off for me to be taken down that road. As far as bratty behavior, he doesn't mind a bit. It lets him know I need something (a spanking more than likely), and he is always willing to oblige with some discipline when needed. Granted, it may be more than I bargained for...*ggls*

I'm just so excited that Daddy found me and is genuinely attracted by what many have considered undesirable. He doesn't want 24/7 anything and sees me as a perfect mixture of kink/vanilla, little girl/slave, lady of the house/Mistress. I see him as someone I can trust to treat me with respect at all times, love me for who I am, be responsible and take care of things so that all I have to worry my pretty little head about is how to please him....or how to provoke him into taking a break from the office. *eg*

[gemmy]

I fail to see how needing total caring for does not make one a slave. A slave is owned property. If you own a car, it does not take care of itself. You are responsible for the care and maintenance, i.e. gas (food), oil (check-ups), tires (clothes and shoes), etc. Daddy has no qualms about taking care of his property. To him, it allows his slave to focus on her main responsibility which is to please him.

I agree, though, that a little girl isn't *quite* a slave, but it's not too far off for me to be taken down that road. As far as bratty behavior, he doesn't mind a bit. It lets him know I need something (a spanking more than likely), and he is always willing to oblige with some discipline when needed. Granted, it may be more than I bargained for...*ggls*

sorry hun, in hindsight I didn't word that very well - I had meant total caring for in a different manner; the way a parent cares for their child, loving, cuddles, pets and so forth where some view a slave, as you said, owned property but they care for themselves and serve their owner when it suits Him, not her (does that make any better sense? lol)

and lots of Daddy's like their little girls to be fiesty and bratty , I hope you didn't think I was saying it in a derogatory sense. Just that slaves wouldn't think of being 'bratty' and upsetting Master; where Daddy's find the fun in it

Congratulations on finding what works for you, that's always wonderful to hear and gives us all hope of finding ours!

[Flaming_Redhead]

It's true that one typically thinks of a slave as being used for whatever the Master wants whenever he wants it while little girls want to be cuddled and cherished. Daddy wants someone to cuddle with at night, sit on his lap, do things for, etc. In return, he expects nothing less than my full devotion. A service slave, should we choose to get one, will be there to serve, nothing more. Her job will be to help me around the house, run errands, babysit or whatever else I want to use her for if Daddy isn't there to...um...help me. *eg* Will she receive the same attention as me? Not by a long shot! We're not looking to be a poly household.

Thank you very much! I was *this* close to giving up hope that I'd ever find anyone compatible. It just goes to show that however unlikely something is it isn't always impossible. Best wishes to all in their search for the one!

[tessa]

I was *this* close to giving up hope that I'd ever find anyone compatible. It just goes to show that however unlikely something is it isn't always impossible.

Too lovely!

~huggles~

[Guest 092208]

I don't know very much about it! My own version and experience is that it is largely reflective of a real parental relationship emotionally whilst the physical can be what you make it by discussion.

There are times daddy is hated there are times when daddy is frustrated and annoyed, worried, upset, dissapointed but like a normal parental relationship the ties are strong and daddy can only just give out love and care.

The physical sex side is a personal decision and can be anything from zero sexual activity to severe bondage and torture.

The relationship is on one level very unlike D/s - example: You were told to do xyz for me reply f*** *** leave me alone I hate you. On another level it is a little deaper example: I am worried that Ive not done as well as he expected.

I think the most important aspect of ageplay relationships is safety a little one has to feel very very safe (don't be fulled when they do that in itself can bring up problems). Next there should in my view always be an element of re-parenting and learning new things for the little one.

From experience I find ageplay relationships more exhausting and time consuming than D/s and they can easily have the identities lost as emotions on both sides can become confusing.

If its just sexy teen and daddy role play I think the dynamics are very different and more fun based.

thats my 2 pence but I think ageplay needs a lot more recognition and exploration because experience of it can help develop positive characteristics in both but especially in the Dom or Domme.

[icey]

From experience I find ageplay relationships more exhausting and time consuming than D/s

^thats because little girls need spoiling and like to keep their daddys on there toes <weg> daddys like to spoil and keep there princesses happy ...cos thats what daddys do best xxx

the benefits a daddy gets (im guessing here!) from encouraging their little girls,teaching and guiding as i think flaming redheads daddy did by asking her the question has to be something they can take pride and a sense of acheivement in making the time and effort they've spent well worthwhile.

do i think daddy/little girl works the same as D/s? my answer after my own experience would be a big big nooooo,as im sure any woman here can tell you from expeience that little girls can be cute giddy fun loving and very good but they can also be very demanding stubborn bad tempered refuse to do as they're told and needy of a lot of attention and correction! and that goes for 'adult' little girls too, a lot more than the majority of subs/slaves ever are, its just a totally different dynamic and your mindset in these 'roles' (for want of a better term) is way different than that of D/s 'roles' you can do both but not at the same time to me that just doesnt work,how many 'real' little ones are slaves? and how many of them could actually cope mentally and emotionally with that and be happy, how many of you here would consider it morally right? before you answer you need to remember that unless its a kinky hou or so of play then that 'little girl' actually is a little girl not a grown up
what im trying to say in my usual longwinded way lol is that you simply cant be two 'people' at the same time certainly not 24/7 anyway, and to do both you'd have to be both a child and adult and thats were the confusion and mixed up emotions Icehawk mentioned often begins you cant just jump from one to the other in seconds it just doesnt work that way...little girls dont sit playing with there teddys or jumping rope thinking hell is that the time,i gotta iron the shirts and go put dinner on! (they nag daddy to come and twirl the rope or play teddys teaparty lol) and daddys dont spank and scold their little girls for not having a starched shirt and dinner ready on time...tell her no sweetys and bedtime story tonight perhaps and hug her when she sulks but he cant really tell her kneel slut and give her 30 strokes or vice versa.

think of cinderella...i mean sure id love to be her,what little girl wouldnt??? but they dont sleep in front of the fire in rags scrubbing the floor all day long lol and cinderellas daddy wouldnt have allowed it.
im getting tired now and rambling so i'll shut up before i say something even dumber lol