what is up with telling the truth...?????

[thrall]

Why cant i keep my mouth shut???.....I fess up to..........everything.....


Im not looking to be punished......but wouldn't it be so much easier NOT to tell everything???



OK...am i the only one with this......telling the truth thing??

[deigja]

;-) No you are not...
Just too often I tell a truth I had better not told.... I do not do it because I want to be punished and not even because of a bad concience but just because it does not seem right to me to.. bend the truth or just not tell anything
;-) Sometimes it does me good, much more often it gets me into trouble . But who cares? I can live with that.

[snowflake]

Thrall it is easier to tell the truth the whole truth .. no matter what.. cause as my grandma told me:
"one lie leads to another lie.... leads to another lie... which only leads to one big mess and you forget the first lie and then you get caught... and the punishment is even worse and no one trust you after that ..."

That being said.. i just simply tell the truth... am honest and will fess up and take my punishment with the best grace i can find...

my opinion anyways

hugs
snow

[juicysub]

Well i think honesty is the best policy... ive noticed i dig holes for myself all the time and get myself in trouble way to easily, but i think in the end Master appreciates it alot more that i have no need to not tell the truth.

[Rowen]

Thrall.. I am with you on this..can't keep that mouth shut.. as some already have noticed.
Yeah...we NEVER ly..never ever...that's something other people do. And telling the thruth.. that is the noble, brave and honest thing to do.. That is what we tell people ....but ever so often we finish them off without mercy if they do so..

Still wonder why some people ly? I don't. Like you, I wonder why I still can't do it... well in fact I know why..and that doesn't make me feel better at all...

[thrall]

HHmm......well maybe its not so much.....telling the truth..... because i do that


It's might be more along the lines ........of immediate confession.....

no...i didn't do this or that....

or worse....i did do this or that.....

[DarkPoet]

Truth is power, even if it doesn't look so in the first place. By being honest, you earn respect from others and yourself. Honesty is what lets you get up each day and be at piece the person in the bathroom mirror, and it's the thing that lets you fall asleep with a smile after a hard days work. Being able to do that sometimes brings envy from others, but, in the long run, has them ask for advice and rely on you.

But anyone who has tried it out can confirm that being a honest person doesn't allow much leeway. Either you're honest, or you're not.

And then, there's the added benefit for a sub, that one often knows in advance that a specific question will be asked and answering truthfully will lead to oh so painfully sweet punishment

Furthermore, of course, a dishonest thrall would certainly not be the friendly, outspoken and charming person we all here have come to love.

[Rowen]

HHmm......well maybe its not so much.....telling the truth..... because i do that


It's might be more along the lines ........of immediate confession.....

no...i didn't do this or that....

or worse....i did do this or that.....

Hmmm, you're talking about confession? Once being raised a good Catholic I know about confession...

Think then it depends on what "this" or "that" is?
And, what do you expect from telling it? What do you fear from telling it?

[thrall]

Furthermore, of course, a dishonest thrall would certainly not be the friendly, outspoken and charming person we all here have come to love.

.........oh i have my moments believe me....sad as that is to say...

[thrall]

Hmmm, you're talking about confession? Once being raised a good Catholic I know about confession...

Think then it depends on what "this" or "that" is?
And, what do you expect from telling it? What do you fear from telling it?

well......specifically in terms of a D/s relationship....

the.........need ......to instantly tell of all transgressions......

[yourlilslave86]

well in general terms....with lying you have to remember every single you thing you have said to that person to keep the lies going and that can be draining and stressful. it also makes it difficult if you are lying about something and then something actually happens and you really need a friend to talk to but you are unable to because of your lies. telling the truth is less stressful and you can talk about anything without having to figure out what u have said before then.

honesty is important in a D/s relationship. if you aren't honest with your Dom/me and they do something it can be painful or it can injury you. Being a submissive I tend to rat myself out even if I don't mean to ..it is easier than having to tell them later.

[thrall]

Being a submissive I tend to rat myself out even if I don't mean to ..it is easier than having to tell them later.

yes....its not about lying......

But always telling the truth........and yes!!.......ratting yourself out!!


What is up with that?!?!?.........do all submissives do this???

[neitsyst2]

Smiles...I am frequently "ovely honest" it is both a blessing and a curse. If I have learned anything from it, I have learned that life is best lived in a way in which you can continue to tell the truth about what you've done and the punishment if there is to be one will match the crime.

[Rowen]

ratting yourself out!!


What is up with that?!?!?.........do all submissives do this???

Count me in. I am very good at it!

[cadence]

Sometimes I think that we have too much honesty and trust issues shoved down our throats, and no I am not saying they are not important, but just once I'd like to sneak in a few extra guilt free orgasms just because I felt like it.

Most of my infractions are minor and usually have reasonable explanations, so they are overlooked. If I continue to make the same mistakes constantly then I have a problem.

I will always tell on myself because what ever I did probably defeated the reasons I was supposed to be doing or not doing it in the first place.
Maybe that's why we tell the truth?

[denuseri]

my owner allways seems to know when i am about to confess, lol

he says somthing about my posture betrays that i need permission to speak so i can beg for mercy for whatever it is ive done that day

,,,<<will tell a lie to lots of people, i am human, especially if its like something to avoid hurting someones feelings, like (no that skirt looks good on yu) etc
but for some reason, i can't lie to my owner

[thrall]

but for some reason, i can't lie to my owner

Hugs....see.....what is up with this?????......lol.......


Well we all seem to be in good company..........

[Rowen]

I will always tell on myself because what ever I did probably defeated the reasons I was supposed to be doing it in the first place.
Maybe that's why we tell the truth?

You may have a point: fact is that apperantly there IS a problem and the telling starts discussion. And even if that leads to punishment, both submissive and dominant will learn to handel that problem. Perhaps it is that caring side of us?

[thepast]

There's lying and then there's lying... big picture? You can't possibly be truthful 100% of the time to 100% of the people. You CHOOSE who you are honest with 100% of the time, and everything & everyone else just has to take a backseat... it is what it is.

Some people choose to be 100% truthful with their partner, others with their kids, some with a best friend... at some level most feel some subconscious need to "confess" about everything they've "lied" about to others--so you pick someone to do this with.

That being said... a D/s Dominant is often a submissive's "person"--the one person they never lie to because they just aren't able. Is this a case of control? Nah, not really, imo. It's more a sense of wanting to be fully open & availible to the Dominant at all times--AND, somewhat the result of picking the Dominant as "that person" they will always tell the truth to.

Enough psychobabble, onto reality.

Does that mean a submissive should confess every little thing to their Dominant? Hell no. A Dominant, imo, expects a submissive to be able to use their judgement (within the rules, guidelines & lifestyle the Dominant has placed the submissive in) and know what the important things are to confess and what is just useless stuff that doesn't need to be brought up, wasting the time of the Dominant. It's all about logic: you can't confess your entire day of wrongdoings: it would take hrs. So you pick the things that are the best use of your Dominant's time to confess and let the rest lay...

Best rule of thumb? If it bothers you, talk about it. If it doesn't, move on. As always, KISS.

[rooshoe]

Hmmm, you're talking about confession? Once being raised a good Catholic I know about confession...

Think then it depends on what "this" or "that" is?
And, what do you expect from telling it? What do you fear from telling it?

As someone who also grew up Catholic, i definitely understand the whole confession/guilt thing. I always laughed about "Catholic guilt", but without realizing it (until it seems to be too late), it appears to have taken hold and i can't quite shake it. That being said...

I rarely lie. I learned when i was very young that, with few exceptions, honesty is by far the best way to go about things. Now, for whatever reason, i find it very difficult to lie. I've found that being honest about screw-ups earns others' respect and trust because they know that you won't b.s. them about things, even if the blame lays with you.

As for the actual act of "confessing", i find it very freeing to unload everything - what i've done, what i haven't done, what i should've done, how i *really* feel about that bitch at work. Even if i know i'll get in trouble if i admit to failing to do/not do something, i feel like i need the punishment to move on with my life; i need someone else to absolve me of my "crimes" before i can let go of things. I think that even without being raised Catholic, i would be like this with respect to failure and confession. I feel very responsible for the happenings around me and carry that weight with me; i take it very seriously and personally when things don't happen as i think they should and i'm responsible for them. I feel like i'm letting the world at down. Being able to lay my shortcomings out and have someone else judge them and allocate punishment as necessary takes off a lot of the weight and definitely makes me feel better about my far-from-perfect self.

[bip0lar]

oooh, i've asked myself this so many times! my biggest 'problem' though, altough it's not exactly a problem, it's more of an inner debate sort of thing, is when i say what i think, when i think it, why i think it. i've been told i overthink everything, and, well, he always laughs when i tell him everything but it creeps me out, because i don't analyse everything that happens inside my head to everybody.
on the other hand, i haven't connected my 'fessing up to everything' with religion, i never was raised as a religious person, i just think that by explaining everything [even when he knows it, because most of the time he knows what goes on inside my head], i won't have to pretend that something else is going on: it's much easier for me to say: half of me likes this because of this, this and this, and the other half feels like that because of that, that and that. thus, he can make his decisions taking into account both parts of my head.

i know, sounds weird, i'm not sure if it makes sense, but thank you thrall for this topic!

[gemmy]

HHmm......well maybe its not so much.....telling the truth..... because i do that


It's might be more along the lines ........of immediate confession.....

no...i didn't do this or that....

or worse....i did do this or that.....

yup yup - so me too - the second I see the person I think I may have a transgression with I run off at the mouth at about 100mph, just can't seem to get it out fast enough! lol

[alpha_Straye]

well in general terms....with lying you have to remember every single you thing you have said to that person to keep the lies going and that can be draining and stressful ... telling the truth is less stressful and you can talk about anything without having to figure out what u have said before then.

Exactly.

[Warbaby1943]

HHmm......well maybe its not so much.....telling the truth..... because i do that


It's might be more along the lines ........of immediate confession.....

no...i didn't do this or that....

or worse....i did do this or that.....

So are we saying we always tell the whole and entire truth about everything? I know I do not lie but I sure as hell don't volunteer information about anything to do with these forums to any of my family.

[DowntownAmber]

For me, part of the draw of a D/s relationship is the vulnerability. The physical vulnerability, of course, but also the mental aspect of giving myself over to someone and giving them the power to wander about in my headspace at their own discretion. By not giving them full access to who I am, hiding "me" by lying or by omission, then really I've killed the point of the whole relationship for myself.

I want to be known.

Does that mean a Dom needs to know that I tripped on the cat going up the stairs with the laundry and cursed profously for a good minute long rant? Nah. That has nothing to do with me or our relationship, and I can prolly skip ratting myself out for having the vocab of a longshoreman. On the other hand, if I blow a task or screw up instructions, well, there's a reason I was given the task to begin with so I'm going to fess up so we can deal with it. Doesn't matter if it's large or small, it has something to do with the relationship so lets getit out there.

[Kevin100]

There's lying and then there's lying... big picture? You can't possibly be truthful 100% of the time to 100% of the people. You CHOOSE who you are honest with 100% of the time, and everything & everyone else just has to take a backseat... it is what it is.

Some people choose to be 100% truthful with their partner, others with their kids, some with a best friend... at some level most feel some subconscious need to "confess" about everything they've "lied" about to others--so you pick someone to do this with.

That being said... a D/s Dominant is often a submissive's "person"--the one person they never lie to because they just aren't able. Is this a case of control? Nah, not really, imo. It's more a sense of wanting to be fully open & availible to the Dominant at all times--AND, somewhat the result of picking the Dominant as "that person" they will always tell the truth to.

Enough psychobabble, onto reality.

Does that mean a submissive should confess every little thing to their Dominant? Hell no. A Dominant, imo, expects a submissive to be able to use their judgement (within the rules, guidelines & lifestyle the Dominant has placed the submissive in) and know what the important things are to confess and what is just useless stuff that doesn't need to be brought up, wasting the time of the Dominant. It's all about logic: you can't confess your entire day of wrongdoings: it would take hrs. So you pick the things that are the best use of your Dominant's time to confess and let the rest lay...

Best rule of thumb? If it bothers you, talk about it. If it doesn't, move on. As always, KISS.

there are lies and there are lies.
I do not think it is possible to go through a week, or even a day without a lie.
Self awareness is important for us all. I once did a little tally count on the number of lies and falsehoods I perpetrated in a day. Once I became sensitive to the process of catching myself telling lies and falsehoods I noticed just how many I told.
"I can honestly tell you that I do not lie." is impossible for any one to say once they get to know themselves.
Having said that, I could not help thinking as I read this thread..
Oh what a tangled web we weave
when first we practice to deceive.

Don't even know who wrote it, but it is so, so, so true

[hopperboo]

there are lies and there are lies.
I do not think it is possible to go through a week, or even a day without a lie.
Self awareness is important for us all. I once did a little tally count on the number of lies and falsehoods I perpetrated in a day. Once I became sensitive to the process of catching myself telling lies and falsehoods I noticed just how many I told.

"I can honestly tell you that I do not lie." is impossible for any one to say once they get to know themselves.

Awesome post.

Full of common sense, +1 from me!

[~faerie~]

i can't lie to my Master, i just cant do it. i try to tell the truth as often as possible otherwise ,but it depends on the situation. shades of gray i suppose.

[Tufty]

So are we saying we always tell the whole and entire truth about everything? I know I do not lie but I sure as hell don't volunteer information about anything to do with these forums to any of my family.

I certainly wouldn't volunteer information either, but if people ask me about something, I'll always tell them the truth.

I just have to hope that they don't ask the questions that I don't want to answer

[liladiebaby]

hey all!

Great thread thrall, its really come at a good time. i really struggle to keep anything hidden, and if i try to lie it is even worse; i blush and fidget and stutter, just ugly all round. but i have been struggling all day to get the courage up to confess a pretty serious transgression to Master and this thread has just strengthened my resolve to suck it up and do whats right. Doesn't mean i am any less terrified of his disappointment though. i really believe that lies and dishonesty only serve to put a distance between people and i don't want even a metaphoric centimeter between Master and i. Don't get me wrong, i really do think its alright to tell white lies to avoid hurting someones feelings or when really necessary, or at least to employ some tact when telling the truth. It isn't practical to be honest ALL the time, and if you are i imagine you are in trouble very often. But lies between a Dom and sub are never okay. And really, why would you want them to be? what is more important than communication, honesty and trust? without them it wouldn't be anything like a Ds relationship, would it? i think that your honesty with your Dom, whether it gets you in trouble sometimes is an invaluable quality which will just strengthen your Dom's trust and respect for you, so kudos and keep 'fessing up i say!

xoxo adie