what is up with telling the truth...?????

[thepast]

There's lying and then there's lying... big picture? You can't possibly be truthful 100% of the time to 100% of the people. You CHOOSE who you are honest with 100% of the time, and everything & everyone else just has to take a backseat... it is what it is.

Some people choose to be 100% truthful with their partner, others with their kids, some with a best friend... at some level most feel some subconscious need to "confess" about everything they've "lied" about to others--so you pick someone to do this with.

That being said... a D/s Dominant is often a submissive's "person"--the one person they never lie to because they just aren't able. Is this a case of control? Nah, not really, imo. It's more a sense of wanting to be fully open & availible to the Dominant at all times--AND, somewhat the result of picking the Dominant as "that person" they will always tell the truth to.

Enough psychobabble, onto reality.

Does that mean a submissive should confess every little thing to their Dominant? Hell no. A Dominant, imo, expects a submissive to be able to use their judgement (within the rules, guidelines & lifestyle the Dominant has placed the submissive in) and know what the important things are to confess and what is just useless stuff that doesn't need to be brought up, wasting the time of the Dominant. It's all about logic: you can't confess your entire day of wrongdoings: it would take hrs. So you pick the things that are the best use of your Dominant's time to confess and let the rest lay...

Best rule of thumb? If it bothers you, talk about it. If it doesn't, move on. As always, KISS.

[rooshoe]

Hmmm, you're talking about confession? Once being raised a good Catholic I know about confession...

Think then it depends on what "this" or "that" is?
And, what do you expect from telling it? What do you fear from telling it?

As someone who also grew up Catholic, i definitely understand the whole confession/guilt thing. I always laughed about "Catholic guilt", but without realizing it (until it seems to be too late), it appears to have taken hold and i can't quite shake it. That being said...

I rarely lie. I learned when i was very young that, with few exceptions, honesty is by far the best way to go about things. Now, for whatever reason, i find it very difficult to lie. I've found that being honest about screw-ups earns others' respect and trust because they know that you won't b.s. them about things, even if the blame lays with you.

As for the actual act of "confessing", i find it very freeing to unload everything - what i've done, what i haven't done, what i should've done, how i *really* feel about that bitch at work. Even if i know i'll get in trouble if i admit to failing to do/not do something, i feel like i need the punishment to move on with my life; i need someone else to absolve me of my "crimes" before i can let go of things. I think that even without being raised Catholic, i would be like this with respect to failure and confession. I feel very responsible for the happenings around me and carry that weight with me; i take it very seriously and personally when things don't happen as i think they should and i'm responsible for them. I feel like i'm letting the world at down. Being able to lay my shortcomings out and have someone else judge them and allocate punishment as necessary takes off a lot of the weight and definitely makes me feel better about my far-from-perfect self.

[Kevin100]

There's lying and then there's lying... big picture? You can't possibly be truthful 100% of the time to 100% of the people. You CHOOSE who you are honest with 100% of the time, and everything & everyone else just has to take a backseat... it is what it is.

Some people choose to be 100% truthful with their partner, others with their kids, some with a best friend... at some level most feel some subconscious need to "confess" about everything they've "lied" about to others--so you pick someone to do this with.

That being said... a D/s Dominant is often a submissive's "person"--the one person they never lie to because they just aren't able. Is this a case of control? Nah, not really, imo. It's more a sense of wanting to be fully open & availible to the Dominant at all times--AND, somewhat the result of picking the Dominant as "that person" they will always tell the truth to.

Enough psychobabble, onto reality.

Does that mean a submissive should confess every little thing to their Dominant? Hell no. A Dominant, imo, expects a submissive to be able to use their judgement (within the rules, guidelines & lifestyle the Dominant has placed the submissive in) and know what the important things are to confess and what is just useless stuff that doesn't need to be brought up, wasting the time of the Dominant. It's all about logic: you can't confess your entire day of wrongdoings: it would take hrs. So you pick the things that are the best use of your Dominant's time to confess and let the rest lay...

Best rule of thumb? If it bothers you, talk about it. If it doesn't, move on. As always, KISS.

there are lies and there are lies.
I do not think it is possible to go through a week, or even a day without a lie.
Self awareness is important for us all. I once did a little tally count on the number of lies and falsehoods I perpetrated in a day. Once I became sensitive to the process of catching myself telling lies and falsehoods I noticed just how many I told.
"I can honestly tell you that I do not lie." is impossible for any one to say once they get to know themselves.
Having said that, I could not help thinking as I read this thread..
Oh what a tangled web we weave
when first we practice to deceive.

Don't even know who wrote it, but it is so, so, so true

[hopperboo]

there are lies and there are lies.
I do not think it is possible to go through a week, or even a day without a lie.
Self awareness is important for us all. I once did a little tally count on the number of lies and falsehoods I perpetrated in a day. Once I became sensitive to the process of catching myself telling lies and falsehoods I noticed just how many I told.

"I can honestly tell you that I do not lie." is impossible for any one to say once they get to know themselves.

Awesome post.

Full of common sense, +1 from me!