How to pick a Dom in a crowd???

[BorderCollie]

After reding what I feel was/is an interesting post on how to spot a sub? I feel that the subs should point out how they spot a a Dom, and what they look for in a Dom. What features do you look for in a Dom???

Given that I'm a tradie, the stocky, steel cap boot wearing, builder type....LOL

[AdrianaAurora]

I just know. I don't know how, it has nothing with me being attracted to them, I just do. Put me in a room with 100 men and I will pick the Dom ones out. Now, I don't guarantee that I will pick every single Dom in a room, but those I do pick will all definitely be Dom. I can sometimes spot them even before they become self ware.

[Ozme52]

I just look for the arse who was hitting on the subs before I arrived.


LMAO

[MstrJohnJ]

you mean I've been wearing this silly hat for nothing?

[BorderCollie]

i just look for the arse who was hitting on the subs before i arrived.


Lmao

rotfl

[Ozme52]

you mean I've been wearing this silly hat for nothing?

LOL,

Great avatar John.

[denuseri]

first of all he will no look away when i am stealing glances in his direction, and i will feel like blushing

secondly my virginia will ussually let me know to check with munber one cuz i will be slopping wet

[AdrianaAurora]

first of all he will no look away when i am stealing glances in his direction, and i will feel like blushing

Nice to know I am not only one. Its weird really (good weird?), after years together a look can still make me blush. (While not extrovert) I am far from shy, so then I blush out of embarrassment because He had made me blush.

[MstrJohnJ]

LOL,

Great avatar John.

Thanks Ozme... the new south park character generator

funny thing? that is just about how I look too

[Ozme52]

Thanks Ozme... the new south park character generator

This comment is worthless..... without a link.

[MstrJohnJ]

http://www.sp-studio.de/

and what is it worth now?
LOL

[Asmodeuss]

Well the human brain is an organic computer capable of processing thousands upon thousands
of bits of information per second. It will take everything from your posture,sent,speech to the
way someone walk's and calculate a percentage based on you knowledge and interest's. The
higher the percentage of certain traits the more likely that person is Dom/Sub Gay/Strait

I'm pretty good at picking people out whatever they may be
for the longest time I just figured i had a knack for it.

[romanticx]

i think looking for men with dominent qualities can be diffucult, i think someone in the last one about subs someone said they display some qualities of women who end up in abusive relationships i think thats true also when trying to spot a dominent man theres a fine live between dominence and abuse i think the thing that makes it different is that there has to be respect for each other a deep loving respect.

[Ragoczy]

i think looking for men with dominent qualities can be diffucult, i think someone in the last one about subs someone said they display some qualities of women who end up in abusive relationships i think thats true also when trying to spot a dominent man theres a fine live between dominence and abuse i think the thing that makes it different is that there has to be respect for each other a deep loving respect.

That was me and I agree with your corollary.

The difference between dominant and abuser, in my opinion, is self-respect and self-awareness. The dominant knows what he is and what he wants, but his self-respect will not allow him to take and abuse, so it must be given willingly.

Self-control, as well -- the abuser responds to disobedience by losing control, while the dominant becomes more in control of himself to respond with firmness and discipline.

[Sir Robert]

i think looking for men with dominent qualities can be diffucult, i think someone in the last one about subs someone said they display some qualities of women who end up in abusive relationships i think thats true also when trying to spot a dominent man theres a fine live between dominence and abuse i think the thing that makes it different is that there has to be respect for each other a deep loving respect.

Finding the right Dom is not much different from finding the right sub. We are all different and react differently to each situation. I try to learn what my sub wants and needs and then if she begns to act up try to understand why. if I can figure that out then generally I know how to handle the situation without making her feel misundertood and not appreciated.

[Virulent]

In my experience with friends and lovers, both male and female doms talk significantly less than subs. I've known some great, strong men who I respect, who talk incessantly... but as a rule of thumb, silence is a sign of the kind of confidence necessary to bring others to submit.

[MacGuffin]

Margaret Thatcher once said "Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.”

I would suggest to spot a Dominant you must look for leadership qualities. When the crowd gathers he will be the quiet one at the back, like the lion watching, studying, planning. Then once he knows what he needs to, he will either slowly move to the fore or pounce suddenly and establish himself as the leader of the pack.

Alternatively, he's the one with a crop in his hand

[MacGuffin]

Self-control, as well -- the abuser responds to disobedience by losing control, while the dominant becomes more in control of himself to respond with firmness and discipline.

Agreed. Before you can control others you must first learn how to control yourself!

[LadyAznTiger13]

you mean I've been wearing this silly hat for nothing?

Amazing.. lol

[LadyAznTiger13]

I think I will have to agree w/ macGuffin on that one.. well said.
Finding a male like that is easy... finding a female like that looking for a female is hard... or maybe I'm not being sharp enough in the crowd...

[Wickedlust]

hmm.. good posture, quick witt, eye contact, firm handshake, slighty conceited -or 'convinced'- dark humor sometimes, twinkling eyes, and charasmatic mysterious smile.

[MasochisticAngel]

I would suggest to spot a Dominant you must look for leadership qualities. When the crowd gathers he will be the quiet one at the back, like the lion watching, studying, planning. Then once he knows what he needs to, he will either slowly move to the fore or pounce suddenly and establish himself as the leader of the pack.

I completly agree with that
my master is exactly like that.
thats how he spotted me, he was the quit strong one at the back of the room studying me, when he knew I was a sub he established himself as my leader.

[SilvieA]

I just look for the arse who was hitting on the subs before I arrived.


LMAO

Lol, that's great! :-D

[Ozme52]

[emmagirl18]

i also just seem to know, subconsciously. i act differently unintentionally around Doms, and it makes it easy for me to tell.

[damyanti]

You can have your suspicions about some people, yes...but I find all the answers above just wishful thinking and too much buying into fiction (movies, trashy romance novels, bdsm porn)....I have a really truly shocking and novel idea --- if you like him, how about asking him?

And if I sound like a smartass,...thats because I am, .

[lucy]

[COLOR="Magenta"]I have a really truly shocking and novel idea --- if you like him, how about asking him?

Sounds like a very good idea. However, i think i would either drop dead while approaching him or just stammer some utter nonsense and leave him with the impression that i'm a complete idiot.

[hopperboo]

Sounds like a very good idea. However, i think i would either drop dead while approaching him or just stammer some utter nonsense and leave him with the impression that i'm a complete idiot.

My life just flashed before my eyes.

I think we might be twins! lolol.

[Socrates]

Great question, and I hope by responding I'm not intruding on what is so far a sub-only thread, but I've always believed that the best way to get to know someone is to be a genuine listener so I've been genuinely listening to you all here. Hopefully when you spot a Dom he won't look like he's trying too hard, but he won't look like he didn't try at all. He'll dress like he meant it. He'll be comfortable with himself and with others - all others. He won't be trying to prove anything, or look rich, because both are very pointless ways to keep score. Hopefully he'll come across as an interested and practised observer; surveying the room and lingering on what interests him. The best Doms are those who know their possessions well through considered observation and relentless learning. Yes he'll probably hold your gaze, out of confidence, that observant nature, but also because looking away immediately would be impolite. A man in control of himself and his ego never needs to be impolite just to show he has the balls to make that choice. When you talk to him he won't tell you about his fancy car in the third sentence, and he'll remember your name the first time. He'll notice your shoes, your earrings, when you look down, what makes you smile, and he'll look forward to the first of a thousand kisses just as much as you will.

[Socrates]

I just realised I've simultaneously ignored about 5 Doms here by calling this a sub-only thread. This was of course evidence of my great observational skills. Love the irony. My apologies people. :-)