Can a Submissive Make a Dominant Lose Control?

[Ragoczy]

My kitten and I finally found time to have some fun last night after several days of life getting in the way. It's been a very stressful week, with a lot of crap going wrong.

I tend to dwell on things that are going wrong, letting them eat up more and more of my time and energy, so it's times like these that I need my kitten the most -- having her take my arm while we're walking and lean her head on my shoulder or rest her head on my lap while we're watching TV goes a long way toward centering me and returning my perspective. Well, with the degree of crap I was dwelling on last night, I needed a bit more, so I gave her the task driving all those thoughts out of my head and making it so all I could think about was her and the pleasure she was giving me.

She did a damn good job of it, too. I'm a lucky, lucky man.

At several times during her ministrations, I had the urge to interrupt and just take her, but the urge never became action. I started thinking about why this might be ... it seems fairly self-evident that a woman can drive a man to the point of desire where he'll simply forget about everything else and take her with a single-minded drive, no matter how much pleasure he's experiencing from her actions ... so why didn't I?

The answer I came up with was that I didn't, because I could.

The urges (and make no mistake, there were a lot of urges) were always tempered by the knowledge that she is mine ... and that I can take her when and how I chose. So there was no need to interrupt what she was doing, no need to give up the incredible sensations I was feeling, in order to satisfy the desire she'd aroused, because I could do that at will. Sort of like having my cake and eating it.

Did I mention how phenomenally lucky I am?

But it begs the question: Does that mean that she can't create that sense of urgency that would make me give up the ongoing pleasure for an immediate and transitory release? Is it not possible for a submissive to drive a dominant to that point because of the dominant's knowledge of his control?

I'm curious what others think on this topic -- and looking forward to some experimentation.

[SubmissiveDoll]

I think a sub can in fact drive a Dom to that point. In fact, I know they can. It's in the nature of the relationship. Sure, you can take her any time you please, but thats not what you needed. You needed emotional release far more than physical release. Your mind was full of thoughts, and all that needed to be cleared away.

I'll assume you did finally take her, and you both felt better for it. And you probably felt much better, for having let her pamper you much longer.

[Alexia_30 {UT}]

Personally, I think you are both lucky. *smiles*

And to answer your question...no. I think that what you needed that particular day, that particular moment, she supplied. Hence the beauty in your union. You two always make me smile with your lovely posts and are something to aspire and reach toward in a bdsm relationship...IMHO. :-)

[slave4ever96]

as a sub myself i do hope that a sub can drive their dom crazy and to the breaking point that they will take their sub in the heat of passion and desire. because that is what i am hoping will happen between me and my Master. subs want to know that though their Master/Mistress has all the control and final say in what happens. they also like to know that they have some affect on their Master/Mistress desires and wants. i know i love the feel of my Masters hands on my body when his desire is escalated and he wants to be near me and to know i have the ability to draw my Master excitement to a peek id also like to know that i can push his control to the point where he will just take me at a seconds notice and have his way because my servicing him drew him to that point.

[SnickerKitten]

The question, Love Of My Life, is NOT whether a submissive can or can not do that, but can it be done to a total control freak? Not every Dom is a control freak, but you, Beloved, most certainly are. (Others will note... I am absolutely confident that he will not deny this fact, else I would not say it.)

Then again, would you trust ME to keep us from getting hurt if you were to lose control?

Love you.
-lucky lucky kitten

[Ragoczy]

The question, Love Of My Life, is NOT whether a submissive can or can not do that, but can it be done to a total control freak? Not every Dom is a control freak, but you, Beloved, most certainly are. (Others will note... I am absolutely confident that he will not deny this fact, else I would not say it.)

Then again, would you trust ME to keep us from getting hurt if you were to lose control?

Love you.
-lucky lucky kitten

I am not a "total" control freak, I took that quiz thing and only got a 92% (still not sure which ones I got wrong).

And even giving in to my baser urges, I'd still have the self-preservation instinct to strap you down.

[SUBtly_shy]

oops

[SnickerKitten]

Rago, Love, I KNOW you only disputed me to be funny. Geesh. You KNOW you are a total control freak and you enjoy being one.

-kitten