The complications of a BDSM mind

[RopeKing]

In my everyday vanilla life I am surrounded by people. New, different, varied and plentiful everyday.

I often get BDSM thoughts sneaking in but I try not to encourage it but today something happened and I thought I would share it with you.

I love to make marks on my play partners; birch whippings, smacks, floggings, cane marks and my all time favourite rope marks. I see these marks in many different ways and they both excite and fascinate me. I see nothing 'wrong' in them and yet I know others may be horrified or disapprove and maybe sometimes I tell myself 'it's just because they don't understand'.

I am also very broadminded and am happy with 'each to their own' and can accept and even understand some pretty hardcore practices.

So why today did I get such a feeling of revulsion when I saw a teenage couple with matching love bites?

The BDSM mind truly is a complicated thing and not always so easy to understand or live with.

[Jennifer Williams]

So why today did I get such a feeling of revulsion when I saw a teenage couple with matching love bites?

*shrugs* Because that just repulses you, that's all. Certain things turn you on, certain things turn you off. Sometimes we can guess as to why; sometimes we can't. All of that is fine- "kinks" to me are just "tastes"; same as any other. Why do I like macaroni and cheese, and my sister hates it? Who knows? Who cares? So long as she's not saying "Ewwww, gross" every time I try to eat it and she keeps her thoughts to herself, and I'm not shoving it in her face, we're all good.

I consider myself very open and broad-minded as well. There are things that I have no problem with on a mental level and yet still cause a feeling of revulsion inside me. That's fine. I just keep it to myself; the only person who would actually need to know about that taste of mine is my partner.

[DowntownAmber]

This may or may not have anything to do with the "BDSM mind." There are numerous details that bottleneck into what we collectively call a first impression.

It could have been the age of the couple, something distasteful about their appearance or interaction with one another, anything really that made the idea of them "together" in that way icky. Complicated for sure though - anything beyond the bite that stood out to you?

[WyldWyl]

Besides, matching lovebites are, like, so 1992.

[fetishdj]

Because it has nothing to do with BDSM marking - there is no pain involved... or maybe you had a bad experience with a vacuum cleaner trying to fake a love bite as a teenager which you are supressing

The human mind is a wierd and wonderful thing, full of complexity. In some ways it is a perfect example of chaos theory - simple basic responses (I am angry, I am horny, I want to hurt you, I want to love you) produced by underlying complexity.

[CuntyVonTwatington]

....maybe your "BDSM" mind was repelled by the equality of their matching bites..... maybe if the bites had been on just one or the other teenager you would have even liked it.... or maybe not.

[Ozme52]

Maybe the revulsion was in that they weren't your marks.

Maybe the revulsion was that they were matching... would you let your sub mark you?

Maybe the reaction was to the setting and not to the marks at all.

[rosebud]

Because it has nothing to do with BDSM marking - there is no pain involved... or maybe you had a bad experience with a vacuum cleaner trying to fake a love bite as a teenager which you are supressing

Lmao!

[brwneydgirl]

I often get BDSM thoughts sneaking in but I try not to encourage it

I feel that exact same way strolling through Home Depot. And I do try NOT to encourage it...but sometimes, it just sneaks in and I revel it in for a little while...

[rosebud]

I feel that exact same way strolling through Home Depot. And I do try NOT to encourage it...but sometimes, it just sneaks in and I revel it in for a little while...

Naughty girl!

[sera]

I feel that exact same way strolling through Home Depot. And I do try NOT to encourage it...but sometimes, it just sneaks in and I revel it in for a little while...

Here too, complete with random blushing and giggling.

[Lafarian]

I would suppose it would depend on the sort of revulsion it was; if it seemed 'unclean' unlike rope of whips (I'd assume they'd be washed as part of maintenance), or if it was a disgust of preference (Maybe somewhere in your brain you didn't like the possibility that they were paragons of the so called 'vanilla' practices trying to seem "BDSMOMGWTFBBQcool")- or maybe it's a subconscious thing that you can't really will to know.

Whenever I see love-bites of other couples I feel/think:
1. A sense of commendation towards the couple, like a proud peer.
2. Thinking about my own love-bites (when the situation is right)
3. Depending on the situation (place, social context, mood etc); a small feeling of 'hey, you might want to cover those up for now'.

Now I'm no large deviant nor am I an expert in these ideas- hence why I periodically read from this forum to learn... I just felt that maybe another two-cents in your well of thoughts might help you explore your mind a little further, as I'm sure many of us try to do.

[Snark]

Large love bites are typically a flaunting of their behavior in private. Perhaps you were turned off by the mental picture that generated. While I consider it demonstration of immaturity to display large bruises like that where they can be viewed by the whole world, a small discrete one I might place on the inside upper thigh of my wife might be a totally different matter.

[sweet_p]

a small discrete one I might place on the inside upper thigh of my wife might be a totally different matter.

ooooooh that is very hot!

[Snark]

So is the upper inside of her thigh. Tasty, too.