Quote Originally Posted by Playfulsub View Post
Do you have children, Flaming-Redhead? The ONLY reason I am still in my marriage is because I really don't want to pull the rug out from under my kids. My husband is not physically or verbally abusive, (although his constant negativity and criticism wears on my self esteem sometimes), he's not an alcoholic, he's not a 'bad' person. It's just that after 15 years, he has no idea who I am. Why? Because he never hears me. Ever. It's intensely frustrating to be disappointed time and time again. And I can relate the to 'being placed on anti-depressants' part. But, I feel for the sake of my kids, it's best to stay for now.
Yes, I have a 4-year-old son. The same can be said of my ex-husband. He didn't drink, do drugs, cuss, hit me, etc. I could've done a lot worse, I guess. Just because he wasn't a bad person didn't mean he wasn't a bad husband. In the end, he did became verbally abusive in an effort to keep me from leaving him...telling me no one would ever love me....I'm simply unlovable....is that a word? He told me I couldn't make it without him....I'd end up with someone who'd treat me like shit....that my son would be all messed up from the broken home.....etc. *sigh* I don't believe "staying for the kids" does any good for the people in the relationship or the kids. Your kids are learning how relationships work from YOU. If all they ever see is a total lack of respect for each other, cold silence, bickering, fighting, nagging, etc., what are you teaching them, really? It's okay to treat your spouse like crap? This is how normal married people live? My mom stayed married to an alcoholic "for the kids" and financial stability. Um...I didn't see it as any great favor to me! I could've done without all that, really. If you can put on a happy face until your kids are grown, how in the hell are you going to explain that their entire life has been a lie? Just something to think about....