1) Are you a sub? (Good thinking-eh? That should save some time!)

As sub as a U-Boat

2) Are you m/f? m+f? Uncertain? Neither.

Passport says I am female but i have a tiny little cock

3) Do you enjoy answering questions?

No

4) Is age important to you?

No

5) How old are you?

49

6) Where did you learn kick boxing?

Never did

7) Can I have my teeth back?

Why did you leave them in the toilet bowl? They may still be there.

8) Do you like to be spanked?

Yes - OTK panties down with people watching

9) What's your favourite implement?

The brain

10) Any strong views on the use of rhubarb?

Not keen on rhubarb crumble - prefer apple

11) Do you like to wear sexy clothes?

Yes - have a large collection of panties - frillies, french knickers and directoire knickers are my favourites. Almost always wear a nightie at home.

12) Do you like to take off clothes?

Prefer to have them taken off

13) See Q6

14) Do you enjoy age play?

Would like to be made to wear a nappy or forced to dress as a little girl

15) Do you enjoy punitive treatment?

Definitely

16) What about blow jobs?

Definitely - giving and receiving

17) See Q7

18) Are your nipples particularly sensitive?

Very - do not enjoy having them tortured

19) Is your clit particularly sensitive? (Here of course I assume sub is f)

Clit is a good word to describe what i have between my legs.

Love cbt - was a model for a visiting Japanese Mistress in a BDSM Club in London. Loved the look in the eyes of the guys in the audience when the Mistress was smacking and whipping my privates.

20) Big lad, your boyfriend, is he particularly sensitive?

N/a

21) Do you prefer rope; chain; straps or scarves?

Straos sound fun

22) OK. Now will you untie me?

Safeword

23) Will you at least leave me the bus fare?

Would you prefer a lift home?