Asia. All will be good. As said earlyer, give it some time. Try settle down in your new situation and get some contact with yourself. Its a shock to suddently be on your own again. And if you feel blame and regret for the brake up, it is even harder to come to terms with the new setting and get yourself grounded and ready for what life can bring you.

I am sorry that you have been through this lately. Its horrible and disturbing to end a relationship. But it can also give you new and unexpected wiews and experiences.....Vanilla sex not being one that you welcomed, but still, now you know

I`ll send you loads of hugs and comforting thoughts over the channel.