To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity...
[Oscar Wilde]


I’m not really sure where I should be posting this thread – but here seems like a good a place as any -and I need answers *help!*

I admit I never really appreciated that word ‘vanilla’ – it felt cruel or possibly derogatory. I thought the word ‘traditional’ made more sense but hey – I’m so far behind with what is right or wrong, I had a recent lesson in why vanilla sex is so very different from the BDSM one that most of us lead.

I recently have had some major life changes, one of them being leaving my man and woman – with both of whom I shared a fulfilling and progressive real-life BDSM relationship. It’s been more than a decade since I have been ‘single’. Before you think I’m callous, I left them both for very good reasons – I’ve asked Confessor_Ed to set up a ‘Confession Box’ on this site, so I can redeem myself for my sins. I regress….

Firstly, I split up with my man on the 2nd of August, the day after his Grandpa’s funeral *needs to visit the Confession Box*. Therefore, more than a month on, and several other major life changes, one of my bosses set me up on a blind date. The sheer horror of it! *yikes* Still, the impulsive side of me went along for curiosity’s sake. Admittedly, he was a conventionally handsome man, dark hair, blue eyes, shame he was my age (having a preference for older men) but it’s was only a date and I haven’t been on one of those in over 10 years. It helped that he was witty and amusing. To cut a very long story short, drinks were drank, much merriment was had, and people’s secrets started to come out and I admit, I went back to his hotel room. Now, this is when it struck me …. He had mentioned ‘ideal partners’ and I had mentioned that I enjoyed dominant men who were full of confidence, even when confronted by a somewhat dominant woman. He proclaimed he was very sexually dominant and he just hadn’t met the right woman who was willing to experiment. Now, for someone who hasn’t ‘dated’ in many years and is used to regular sex, I got a wee bit over excited and became a wee bit open but not too much – about light bondage, my neck, exhibitionism, etc. Nearly everything I had to say from that point onwards seemed to bring a look of confusion to his face. I didn’t even mention humiliation, knife-play/fucking, forced sex role-play, erotic-asphyxiation, pussy and/or ass whipping and spanking, not even anal sex. So, I reverted back to being a teenager and decided to go for it *needs to visit the Confession Box* – I now know why the term ‘vanilla sex’ exists. He keeps calling me saying he wants to see me again and he thinks we have something ‘unique’, and I’ve blocked his number because that was THE most boring ‘sex’ I’ve ever had.

Can someone tell me if this is what it is going to be like from now on in real life? Am I doomed to a life of vanilla sex?!
Asia
xxx