Chatroom and wet toes

[DemonGoddess]

I wonder too sometimes, how many new people are scared off by the pressure to 'get hard or get out?'

Tojo

When I first started comming to the chatroom I did alot more roleplaying then I would ever consider doing now. and somethings that I would never do now. Part of it was because of this attitued but also because of other things that happend in my past.

I also think that there are fewer people with that attitude around the room now days.

[Warbaby1943]

This is an interesting thread to say the least especially since I haven't been to the chat except by accident one day and then only for about 5 minutes. Seems though that the people there must be very similar to the ones who post here. Probably good reason for that, huh?

Anyway it appears I am missing a large part of this site by not being involved in the chat room.

[Warbaby1943]

i dunno Warbaby... there aren't usually naked females in there either *giggles*

But yes, MANY of the forums stalkers are also chat stalkers!!!

Hey I'm not a stalker but the lack nakedness would be fine.

[SheepishJaina]

I've gotten to know some of my fellow goofballs *smooches delia and giggles* more through chatting that i would have just from the forums. Started chatting about trivial stuff, did a bit of playing, and as I started figuring out who was who, and some of their personal quirks, it was easier to start up more in depth conversations. I'm not saying this can't be done on the forums as well, but PM chasing takes more time than the instant back and forth messaging.

Be yourself when you come in. Join in the main conversation, ask questions, and have fun. (while minding all the rules)

[dzire2pleeze]

~shaking my head@delia~ geez...once a moderator always a moderator ...giggles.

I have yet to experience any major snobbery in the chatroom...there are seldom heated arguments or disagreements that aren't approached with respect. if anyone becomes abusive or annoying, the mods jump right on them...they are either kicked (just ask delia) or banned for good.

The reason I frequent chat is because of the other fine and fun people that frequent chat....some have become very good e-friends. One has become...blushes and giggles...my Sarge.

The chatroom for me is a place to gather with friends; to have fun. It is very much like the forums. The difference being in the room you are able to talk to people one on one.

[Warbaby1943]

~shaking my head@delia~ geez...once a moderator always a moderator ...giggles.

I have yet to experience any major snobbery in the chatroom...there are seldom heated arguments or disagreements that aren't approached with respect. if anyone becomes abusive or annoying, the mods jump right on them...they are either kicked (just ask delia) or banned for good.

The reason I frequent chat is because of the other fine and fun people that frequent chat....some have become very good e-friends. One has become...blushes and giggles...my Sarge.

The chatroom for me is a place to gather with friends; to have fun. It is very much like the forums. The difference being in the room you are able to talk to people one on one.

It does sound like a great place.

[Timberwolf]

I used to hang out in the chat a bit but it's usually just too manic for my tastes. If I want a "nightclub atmosphere" (or at least the internet equivilant of it) I suppose I'd drop in, but overall I just don't think it's me.

Having said that... I met my lady there. She's not that big on chatrooms either, and was only in there for the second time ever, while I was only there at the time out of boredom. Go figure. Life is strange.

[frankee]

Ok so, this is my take on chatrooms. my first experienced .....SUCKED..not to mention scared the shit out of me! Especially for a newbie (still am lol), i always made it clear that i was new and had no experience. In hindisght, maybe that wasn't such a good idea because the freaks seemed to flock to the newbies.

my second experience was here, it was very pleasant and i had a very nice chat with a lovely man. It's still made me a little nervous being in there and i haven't been back since.

[cookiecat]

timberwolf & frankee - i'm kinda with you....i head into the chatroom to talk to a couple specific people & it's always fun to lurk....but sometimes i get overwhelmed with the conversations going on. mostly people are very respectful. so i can't say it's not that people there don't make me feel welcome; it's probably me being the wallflower! it has been an interesting way to meet like-minded people....

[Psynymph]

Uncle_Ed Your awesome!!!

my biggest problem with chat rooms is that i always feel left out. like, it's seriously like walking into a room full of people. the people are already there...already paired off into a couple different convos, and then you just walk in.....and kinda stand around awkwardly.....wondering where you fit in. so you sit there, trying to find a subject to relate too but then it's kinda like your butting into the conversation.......so you just continue to sit there. then outta no where you get this random pm...."on your knees slut!" or " please Dom me" (depending on what your profile says)......

it's quite overwhelming and in the end just a useless hassle in my opinion. i perfer pm'ing.....more personal, allows for better focus.......you can always have "conferences" with online friends......

ok so that's my two cents worth....:P

[Desperadosong]

my biggest problem with chat rooms is that i always feel left out. like, it's seriously like walking into a room full of people. the people are already there...already paired off into a couple different convos, and then you just walk in.....and kinda stand around awkwardly.....wondering where you fit in. so you sit there, trying to find a subject to relate too but then it's kinda like your butting into the conversation.......so you just continue to sit there. then outta no where you get this random pm...."on your knees slut!" or " please Dom me" (depending on what your profile says)......

I can totally relate to this Psynymph.

Ds

[maddie]

Yeah. Those PMs? Ignore them. If you want, smack down the person who sends them in public, in the chat room. In our chat room, NOBODY should be private messaging you without your permission. That rule is there to prevent exactly that sort of intimidation.

Some of the regulars in chat make a big effort to be welcoming to new people. We were all new at one time and we all felt that awkwardness. It takes a little persistence to get past it, but I think it's worth it.

[Tojo]

Well I've only been in the chatroom a few times, when a friend's IM program wasn't working. I think I spent a total of 10 minutes in the lobby.

I find it hard to talk to more than one person at a time, that's my biggest problem. If I'm at a party I'll be in the kitchen having an earnest conversation with one or two people, probably women.....

I much prefer my IM program- the one on one convo where you can get to know each other.

Having said that, I've found it very warm & welcoming in the chatroom & if I didn't spend half my life on MSN & could type faster(!) I'd join in.

There's some real nice people there.

Tojo

[Curious_1]

I registered in the chat when it was a few days old so I have been there since late Jan 2005.

There have been a lot of changes in that time. I remember celebrating when we had member 25 then 100, 1000, and finally 2000. Then we lost Voodoo and got one which didn't work out. (Piece of junk)

Our current chat program is very easy to use so people are relaxed about that.

As a moderator I try to greet everyone and make them feel comfortable. I answer all questions and try to steer the person to talk with someone who they will things in common with.

There are so many very shy people who come in that only talk in whisper to me for weeks before they finally get their feet wet and start talking in the main room. Some of our biggest talkers now were the shy ones in the beginning.

And on the opposite end of the scale we get people who are out for a cheap thrill for the time they are in. It doesn't matter as long as everyone follows the rules!

The 1st is registering and logging in each time. Then after that to always BE polite! It someone bothers you either in whisper or the room, look for me or another moderator. And the ignore option is always good too.

We have lifestylers in there, happily married people whose partners are vanilla, and virgins who are too shy to try anything in r/l. All people are welcome in the chat!


It is a great place to just chat with someone or a group of people. Sometimes there are discussions which is great. Other times it is like a zoo with all the animals loose.

There are a few people who look down on others there. But you will find that anywhere you go in your life. Lifestylers who do not like o/l only people are the worst in my opinion. But if I see that I ask them to go to whisper and to BEhave. NO ONE has the right to judge others!

But luckily as I said there only a few of those. For the most part the people in the chat are great! They come from all walks of life and each has something to share.

Most people stay in the lobby which can get chaotic at times but there are other rooms where you can go for quieter talking. You can even create your own room for privacy.

I hope everyone comes to at least check the chat out.

Curi

Chatroom Moderator and sometimes mother

[caged]

My take on the chatroom.. I ca't say I've seen much evidence of snobbery from people practising bdsm in real life. In this day and age many (even most?) of us who are in real life dom/sub relationships began with online play.

Where I sometimes get bored with the room, and the manner in which I would certainly describe it as 'mild', is that most of the time there is really no bdsm talk of any kind. It is usually a mixture of greetings and hugs between friends, jokes, etc.

Of course I'm sure there is plenty of roleplaying going on in whisper, but I'd love to see more actual discussions in there. I find discussing things on forums a little too slow, and prefer the immediacy of chat for talking about stuff.

[caged]

I feel compelled to reply to some of the points in this post from Tojo:

...................
I also find many in R/L relationships look down on those in online ones.

It's sad to see that while this kinky community is generally composed of intelligent broadminded individuals, there's plenty of 'my way is right- yours is wrong'. People who say unless you do it my way, you're merely 'playing' at the lifestyle.

I have to add that it works the other way too. There are those who frown upon or don't like to hear about the activities of real-lifers.. or merely the fantasies of people whose kinks seem 'worse' than the average. People who say unless you do it our way, you are sick/disgusting.

A very sad state of affairs indeed.

I notice however that I seem to have no trouble finding girls to play with & have one collared to me. Perhaps I'm doing alright?

................

I wonder too sometimes, how many new people are scared off by the pressure to 'get hard or get out?'

In the room at here at present, there is certainly NO such pressure. Quite the complete opposite at times

Tojo

[Tojo]

I have to add that it works the other way too. There are those who frown upon or don't like to hear about the activities of real-lifers.. or merely the fantasies of people whose kinks seem 'worse' than the average. People who say unless you do it our way, you are sick/disgusting

Yes a very good point caged, thanks for reminding me of that.

My first post on this thread looks rather smarmy to me, I might add.

I do get the odd PM though from new people who have been harassed- both in the chatroom & on the forum. There's always someone when you have a membership of more than 18,000.

Most handle it with a polite refusal, or just ignoring the 'invitation' but it does upset some people. I'm concerned that if X amount of people do mention it to others, there must be some who are frightened off.


Tojo

[buzzy]

I like chatting and interaction with others. I also, like people with manners. I've only one bad experience in the chat room, generally find it a nice place to hang out. I listen more then talk, but I'm new and do the same up close and personal. It takes time for me to lossen up, so if you see me say Hi. If we are just meeting, don't ask me to perform for you, first I might me a slut, but I'm my Mistress's slut and I'm not a whore. Secoundly, I find it rude and crude to just assume that all want to perform without so much as a how you doing today. take care to all