Quote Originally Posted by Mishka View Post
However, there was a time he was so incredibly angry with me for complaining about not getting enough he through a chair into the wall...several times. Yes, it was his anxiety and depression talking, there was other things he was upset about, but he took it out on me, it was scary. He doesn't ever want to do that again, he's very angry with himself for losing control. He has gotten angry that I bugged him so much about it. I haven't in a long time because of that. Every time I bring up the subject I get nervous.

See, now this scares me! He can be frustrated and angry and pissed off all he wants, but throwing a chair into the wall....several times, and taking it out on you is just plain wrong! And all because you wanted sex?????? Mishka hun, you should be able to say anything to him without the fear of him throwing a chair, or taking out his frustration on you! Him losing control that way is a huge problem, and it worries me that it could become physical. I was in a relationship with a man (not the ex hubby) who got angry and took out his frustrations on me. We had been together for 2 1/2 years and I had known him for twenty years when we got together, and I never in a million years thought he would hit me, but he did. He hit me twice that night, but I managed to get away. I had him arrested and put in jail the same night, and while he was in jail, I had all of my belongings packed up on a moving van and taken to storage. And I had to go threw lots of court BS, but I did it, because he was WRONG! Never, never take your husband losing control that way lightly. Take care of you and your kids first and foremost. I am not saying he has abused you in any way. But the two of you should be able to sit and have a conversation about your lives without throwing freakin' chairs or without you feeling nervous to even broach the subject! Sorry for ranting on and on about this, but it is a subject that touches a nerve with me! Guess you can tell by all this talk!

Now on to another part of your post!


He wouldn't touch me between my legs for eight years. He has briefly tasted me between my legs (about 3 times in 12 years) but as he says "he isn't there yet". Note, I said tasted. Nothing he did could really be called oral sex. Better to have tried than not tried at all. That I have given up on. No sex during the week, we've only recently started doing it at night since the morning is so noisy. (by started I mean once)
OH

MY

GOD!

NO ORAL?? Dear God I would die! And after twelve years he STILL "isn't there yet?" And it took him 8 years to even touch your pussy? *faints....thud* He must be very prudish, but one would think after so many years that the man would want to at least give it a try! It just boggles the mind, I tell ya! I'm not trying to be crude Mishka....I guess it's just hard for me to wrap my brain around.

With my ex hubby, well he wasn't the kind of man your husband is. Sex was not our downfall. Although he was a very "routine" kinda guy. We always did the same thing everytime, with very little variation, when it came to sex. But he was a very opinionated man, and his opinion was always correct in his eyes. We had been married for 14 years when I left him the first time. My kids were 13 and 11. I talked to them first and gave them the option of staying with their Dad or coming with me. I also made sure they understood that my reasons for leaving had nothing to do with them. They chose to stay with their Dad. It was the hardest thing I ever did, but I knew I couldn't live like I had been living anymore. After being assaulted by the ex assaulter, my hubby invited me to move back in so I would be safe. Yes, he is a wonderful man! We tried again, but we had grown apart, and I had hurt him badly, and didn't want to do that again. We talked, and decided that when I found a place to live I would move out again. And I did. My kids stayed behind again, but amazingly enough, have handled their Mom's comings and goings rather well. I love my kids, and I still love my husband, but he and I do not get along living in the same house. We do however get along great now! He would do anything for me, and I would for him as well. So why am I baring my soul, and telling things about myself that aren't so pretty? Because sometimes it helps others to know that they aren't alone, and that even when you love someone, sometimes it just isn't meant to be. Blaming yourself gets you nowhere. Make the decision that you and what you want in life are the most important things (other than your kids....that's a tough one), and do what you....just you can live with.

I wish you love, luck, and much happiness!