thanks ID for your post.

Ironwulf, that is how I view the topic too.
I shall look over the links later this morning , I have not seen those.
yes, we have to choose what is right, and what can work for us as well as know what won't or be ready to lay it aside if it proves harmful.
I like the mix I've settled upon and trying to work it within my husband/wife & Dom/sub relationships.