Advice

[jamwish]

There's no rules. Just talk to her about what feels right for the two of you and take it in steps. I've had all kinds of D/s relationships. 24/7, only at home or just in bed. Every relationship is different. Just because something has worked for somebody else it's no guarantee it'll work for you.

That's what i'm trying to do. Tiny steps...Lot's of talk. But...

Judging from your post the big question in my mind is; Who's idea was it and who is the driving force?
If it's her then just be attentive and go for it. She'll tell you what isn't working.
If it's you then I suggest being extremly understanding and not push it.

Now here is where it starts to get tricky... We both want to. Very much. In fact we've both wanted for some years now. We just didn't tell each other about it...(i mean, we did, but never seriously enough to be taken serious)
Wich is why i talk a lot about what we're gonna do and when... Could to much talk blow it?

Getting a beginner submissive to open up to her inner desires is a bit like getting a flower to open up. Make sure she has the best possible environment and let her do the work. If you're too agressive about it she'll probably become defensive and in that situation the important thing as a Master to do is to be more suportive and understanding.

In my experience. Subs who are devoted to their Masters tend to be very vulnarable and you need to be extremly careful not to hurt her feelings, (in a bad way). As a beginner Master I did this misstake more than once and payed for it dearly. Just because she does everything for you, doesn't mean she likes it. Too much of the wrong thing is too much for anybody, no matter how submissive they are.

My main fear here is myself... I've been wanting this for so long that sometimes i spread it to our "outside" life. And that puts her off, wich in turn pisses me off, etc, etc... What do you do to maintain proper separation of states in your mind?

[TomOfSweden]

Could to much talk blow it?

No, off-course not. But you could find out that what it is you are seeking isn't your partner, and vice versa. Either way you've got little to lose. You will develop as a person with or without her. The only differance is the time it takes.

I think you need to put some effort in figuring out what exactly it is that fear might happen and why you are letting yourself be ruled by your fears?

My main fear here is myself... I've been wanting this for so long that sometimes i spread it to our "outside" life. And that puts her off, wich in turn pisses me off, etc, etc... What do you do to maintain proper separation of states in your mind?

It sounds like you think being a Master is an act. People are different and I can only talk for myself. There's no separation of states in my mind. I'm always dominant and extremly considerate at the same time, (I have to be or I'd be one lonely man). When I give my slave orders she always obeys. I know this and so does she. So I don't have to play any games. I can just focus on being me, and she can focus on making me happy. This is D/s for me and my slave. But I've been into this for 14 years. I too have ha some years where I've been very confused. You have to figure out what D/s is for you and your wife.

Don't forget or doubt that she loves you....obviously. Or she wouldn't want to take this journey with you.