I am not sure this is a fetish, I like mysterious men, not cheaters or criminals, but men who do not talk to much, it takes a long time to get to know them, they talk about intersting (life philosophy, compassion, health) or important things (his kids, his business, life in general and dreams and goals) , but mind you not too much...saving some details as a suprise...especially sexual ones, then to hear his sexy voice confidently giving a command...or the carefully placed comment out of context mentioned earlier that does not reveal the nature of our relations to everyone but that makes us smile as a private joke.

I this sort of the mental opposite of voyerism? Not wanting to know too much, for example I was pleased when during play I asked my lover to kiss me on the neck and he spontaneously bit me, when I responded he got nice and rough...just one small example, we both know we are kinky but have not revealed all the details...he is a switch and I have been mostly sub with switch tendencies...I think I am going to have lots of fun with him.

I have never had a switch for a sweetie, and he seems to like my timing, for example the second time we played he mentioned something that he would like in an offhand way and I waited until the next time I was with him to try it on him, he said he wanted his cock pulled on and maybe tied and I let him go home and stew a little before I tried it, it seems more effective to space out the slow exploring of each others likes...yummy.

Not to mention I have a definate fetish for dirty talk in a foriegn language I do not speak, well he could be saying anything, but there is something super sexy about trying to read tone and body language along with the sound of my lovers voice trying to express a desire to me I cannot understand so obviously....

He is very private..his personal did not say much more than that he was a switch and this made him very much sexier than I thought he was at first impression in person, that he managed to keep it to himself...we met in real time...and he speaks a foriegn language fluently...much sexier for me to know a person well enough to like them outside of sex before I can get turned on.

I on the other hand have no problem talking about what I like and he likes this, I have kept my laundry list just that, a list, and he has already shown me there are some key things we have in common (shared fondness of pain) and an abitlity to read each others bodily responses...no long discussion, just my permission and his and the agreement we will respectively stop if it really seems to be too much.

It is not sex with strangers that I crave and really like, but the mystery of slowly discovering each others kinks and the suprise of a good match...I feel as I would know if it were a bad match with the slow get to know.

Revealing too much right away seems to make me lose interest especially if every detail is all planned out in too many words.