Talk it over between the two of you and as everyone else has said make it fit what you need. Give up only the control you feel comfortable giving up. If anything is forced from or on you you could end up resenting the relationship.

What I find most rewarding is being able to talk things over before, after, or even during any activities. As long as you both are happy with what you decide it will work out fine for you.

A collar is what you want it to be and what you want it to mean. Ours is a ring and it means commitment to each other in all we can commit from what our lives allow.

I won't get into the slave vs. submissive debate except to say I personally don't like the term slave.