In answer to one of your questions. Yes you can have D/s without the aspect of SM or BDSM however you want to look at it.

As far as finding Mr Right... All I can tell you is let your heart be your guide, and your mind be the rule. What does it mean? Let your heart guide you to people you find appealing, let your mind do the logic work to see if they are worth the effort.

Can love be found in BDSM? Most definitly!

Best Wishes