Quote Originally Posted by ValKyrie
Thank you for your responses.

Typically, I would have confirmed his safe word, but found myself filled with a number of emotions that I hadn't previously experienced when engaging in S and M before.

Primarily, I was very disappointed with myself for letting the situation get to that point. Lessons learned, I suppose.

ValKyrie; You shouldn't be dissappointed in you... I think one of the hardest parts for a domme is to know how far to go on any given day. I struggle and fight back often--sometimes I panic thinking the pain is too much "this time."

As soon as she senses that, she stops and asks "you want me to stop?" If I nod my head it is as good as using a safeword. If I realize at that point that I'm still really enjoying the scene, I'll shake my head no--which is a commitment to continue. I can still safeword anytime, but this type of check is just for her to confirm that what she is doing isn't too hard for me.

Personally, I find that shake of the head to be very erotic in itself. If I say "no" then I'm turning over more power, in a sense. Sometimes it takes me 30 seconds or more to clear my head enough and make that decision. Sitting there, bound, breathing heavily, heart racing, deciding whether to nod or shake my head, while she sits close holding the instrument of my soon-to-be torture is a climactic moment in my journey of submission.

Maybe your sub was wrestling with submission too... I often will sheild myself if I can--not because I want to, but as a natural reaction. Last night I broke two chains that I thought normally were strong enough to hold me, I was struggling so hard. Of course I was punished more for it (gee, darn).