Hi LBoolean,

i think the answer to many of your questions depend on how far you/she want to take it; this is to say that in terms of her 'being in the mood' etc, it depends on whether you want to pursue it as a hobby (for want of a better word), have some fun with power exchange etc or seek it as a lifestyle, do you see what i mean?

A sub being in 'the mood' is a tricky one, if she's sick or there's a specific reason why a sub wouldn't be up for playing, then their dominant would (should?) take that into account...if it's merely a case of 'pffft, i just don't feel like it, sod off', then this is something that needs working on if you want to pursue a Ds relationship, yes. But, again, i think this all depends on how far you want to take it, if you're happy with dominating only in a scene, then it's not a problem, if you want to dominate out of a scene and hence control when scene's take place, then it is. It could easily be a case of trial and error...if she says she's not in the mood and you normally back down, try asking her why or perhaps telling her that you are in the mood...only by testing the water will you progress.

The same applies to the concerns you raised regarding what training actually is (domestic issues etc). Again, it depends how far you both wish to take it. In relation to this, you say sometimes she 'begs to be trained', sometimes, i'm not sure the full implications of this are apparent to submissives and i would suggest talking to her about her expectations of training, most notably what she imagines or hopes the outcome to be in terms of her behaviour, your expectations of her, consequences of her failing to live up to them and your relationship in general...by focusing on her expectations you can start to give some thought to how training should shape up for you two personally.

It is always difficult to convert a vanilla relationship into a Ds one, and hence i would strongly suggest taking it slowly. It's hard to go from yelling 'Hey honey, good day at work?' to kneeling and saying 'Good evening Master, how may i serve you?'! This is, obviously, an extreme example, but i'm sure you take my point.

In terms of the physical/pratical specifics of scenes, you could fill in a BDSM checklist, you don't have to deal with every item on it right now, but many of the basics of what either of you definitely do or definitely do not want to try could be sorted out...this would give you some insight into the sort of things she perhaps thinks about or would like to try, if not the sort of pain/discomfort she'd be interested in trying.

To go back to a previous point, perhaps the answer lies, right now, in establishing what she wants...sexual submissiveness, submissiveness, bottoming, they are all different things and require different sorts of training/handling.

The following threads may be some help:

Thread one (might perhaps give you/her some food for thought in terms of what some subs feel/think about/hope for/like)

Thread two (makes specific reference to the term and definition of 'sexual submissive' round about post 18/19)

Thread three (develops into quite an enlightening discussion regarding different types of subs and their expectations etc)

Thread four (literally uses the title 'I want to be trained'...and goes from there)

Hope this helps.

sl