the bondage itself should not hurt ----there are ways to prevent it and a good Dom should know them ---it is the beginners that have no knowledge of this --and it does tend to turn a new sub off if it is painful ----I stress using a safe word -----were if the pain is unbearable ---the use of that safe word stops everything----as far as gags ---that is for advanced use ----for Doms and subs who totally trust each other and know each others comfort levels

now a safe word has to be something not normally used in conversation ---I should not be "stop or no or quit" but a word you would never use except to comunicate that things need to stop now ----