I am glad to see Ocean Soul's post. My immediate reaction to this was (despite thinking that he did the wrong thing) - he's jealous. His little girl is growing up, going with another man, and what's more she is advertising her belonging to him. He may not have been able to vocalise those thoughts, but I'm sure they were there. He must have some awareness of what the collar stands for, although not enough; and he is also frightened for you.

I understand that the initial reaction would be incredible indignation - but it may be worth trying to see it from his viewpoint. Talking to him would be good, if it's possible. There may be too much emotion there, though.

My answer would be a compromise: have your husband buy you a pretty necklace that you can wear as a collar, that is not obviously one. Lockable would be good. You can then wear that all the time as your symbol of belonging, and your parents would be able to cope with it.