You have to decide what's important to you. Your sexual fulfillment or your stability and marriage. The likelihood, in this case, of keeping both may be slim.

If you are completely dissatisfied with your sex life and you want to pursue your fantasies, then it seems like you're going to have to have an affair. You're going to have to find your information about what you want, you're going to have to assess your needs and then you're going to have to find yourself a dominant and begin your affair. If you plan for the affair to be long term and to eveolve into a potentail relationship, then you will very liely be found out. Most affairs are. Something about the cheating partner just "feels wrong" to the other partner, if he pays any attention to you at all.

However, if you feel your sex life is not worth wasting your marriage over, then you need to unsubscribe from forums like this and resolve yourself to the fact that your sexuality for the forseeable future will consist of your servicing your husband, having him manipulate you and you masturbating.

The only other option you have is to come clean to him. Tell him of your desires and of what you are considering. If you are considering having an affair to find out what you want, then tell him that, too. Be completely honest. He might get irate, he might be hurt, but then again, he might understand and give you permission to seek out your fantasies.

You must choose your own course. However, if you have further questions, please ask. Don't try to do this blindly.