Indeed subjects similar to these have been discussed here, but maybe not from your perspective. I'll provide you with some links to peruse, but I'd definitely be interested in hearing more of your story and peoples' responses to this thread.

Have a look at these threads:

Very worried that current bdsm is caused by past abuse - by duktig flicka

Does an interest in BDSM indicate a pattern of abuse in earlier life? - by BDSM_Tourguide

Sex, Sex, Sex... It's All About the Sex - by BDSM_Tourguide

The place of sex in a D/s-bdsm relationship - by Jones, Nikka

Is it right to dominate a low self-esteem sub? - by Jones, Nikka


Hopefully, these will help you somewhat. If you have any further questions or comments, there are always people here willing to answer and offer advice.