If you figure it out, please let me now. I'd give you a major organ. Or my soul. Whichever's to your fancy.

Depending on your opinions, it can be fixed by thought modification forms of therapy. Personally, I've had absolutely no luck with that and prefer to completely repress the whole shebang. Probably not completely healthy, but it's my opinion that thought modification is more than a little useless when being bombarded constantly by the rest of society with messages that reassert your negative worth. Whenever I actually manage to feel cute/sexy/intelligent/worthwhile for more than 5 minutes, some form of validated and supported society simply slams all my inadequacies back into my face.

I concentrate on the things I like about myself and try to completely ignore everything else. I like the freckles on the back of my hands...I like that people think I have a "phone sex" voice...I like that no matter how much weight I gain my calves stay pure muscle (Hubby's got a thing for legs). If I concentrate on those things I can live with the fact that I'm heinously overweight, certifiably insane, hideously scarred, and more than a little retarded sometimes.

I'm currently working real hard on the "if you project sexy/capable/intelligent, you ARE sexy/capable/intelligent" theory. My cousin is a big girl too...but she's gorgeous. Just plain stunning. She oozes confidence and charm and flirtatious energy. I'm related to her and I just might do her. My sister isn't much into book smarts...but when she talks people sit up and listen. Doesn't matter that she's young or rough around the edges or sometimes has to backtrack because her words get all tripped up. When you're around her, you're almost sure she could take on anyone and do anything...because she thinks she can and just makes you FEEL it when you're around her. Whereas I tend to skulk and blend in as "one of the guys" and be timid with my opinions and thoughts. It's become the group consensus that if I would act like I value myself, then people would act like I'm someone of value in return and that would eventually allow me to truly believe I was worth something. Just a different form of thought mod but I'm hoping it's slightly more effective than the "think happy thoughts" version of thought mod I'm used to.

I think whatever point I was supposed to be making got lost somewhere in that rambling but part of my new "plan" thingy includes not obsessively analyzing things before I type/say them so, oh well. You're not alone though. Maybe we should start a club for women who can't tell mainstream media and society to shove their plastic impossible standards up their asses.