I think you hit the nail on the head here, Rhabbi. Most, (if not all) of us have insecurity issues. And with "us" I don't mean people into BDSM, but all humans. Chances are you are just normal. I think blaming your background is just a way for you to explain or justify it, but I think you might be wrong. Possibly you are holding yourself down and using your background to keep yourself down. The human mind is all but rational and logical.
It might be as simple as telling yourself you're great and beautiful. Write it with a marker on the mirror you use every morning. Beat that into your head instead.