Quote Originally Posted by Hime View Post
Not that you're going to come home one day and find he's installed a dungeon in the basement, but that he will like the idea of being your master and want to explore that further.

"I can't hurt you. I can't hit you. I would be ok with tying your wrists, but that's about it." Because of his personal history, his strongest reaction came from his fear of being abusive. It took him a few months to get used to the idea enough to realize that he was actually really excited by it, and that being a loving Dominant is not the same as being an abuser (although that is an issue we still struggle with at times).

If you think that you have a chance to convince him (say, if you've noticed that he has some dominant tendencies), don't push it or act like he's disappointing you if it doesn't work out. Instead, show him how BDSM can be part of things that he enjoys. In my experience, the biggest turn-off for most guys is feeling pressured. If your previous experiments didn't work, it might have just been because of that.
sassycat - my experience and advice mirrors moptop's - show him how BDSM can be part of something he likes (oh, BJs for example...give them on your knees and ask for whatever level of force/hair/head manipulation you'd like and he might be willing to do ). That was where I started finding what it felt like to me to be submissive, and then began sharing my feelings and desires with him - and we have progressed at a slow, steady pace since. Now, 10 months later, he's become a loving Dominant, curious and excited to see where we go on this path next. (And wanting to be the guide on that path, rather than me. Yes!!)

Good luck to you - I hope you find what you are seeking.