Mistress Ruby and Her Pet's Thread

[Ruby]

Began in Jade's thread:
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...2660#post42660
in reference to a thank you she wrote to me.

Jade,

And I adore you. You are an amazing woman, taking everything challenge that comes your way at full force.

You were so good to my Nathaniel on the phone after he'd been a bit naughty trying so hard to please me. And I knew that like you, when you try to please Saracen, it was the thought, attitude and effort that counted.

Nathaniel and I had a big discussion about his punishment later. While I know that I can punish him at any time, like a good mom/domme/miss, I only want to punish him if he deserves it. T doesn't punish me. I'm devastated if he says I've disappointed him. Nathaniel was devastated and feeling like what he’d done was unforgivable. So I knew that I needed to both punish and forgive him. That by taking a punishment, it would alleviate his guilt.

That said, I can’t ever see myself punishing Nathaniel with any kind of harsh pain. If he wants a spanking, or I want to give him one, there needs be no punishment involved. That can be for our fun. Neither of us are into leaving bruises so punishing him in that way, would be punishing myself as well.

Teaching Nathaniel that he has a say in what we do and how far we go is an ongoing battle. If you had given him a punishment, even though you weren't his domme, in his old life, he would have had to follow through and accept it. That you held back, knowing I would take care of the punishment and how new our relationship is as miss and pet, was a true gift. For that I thank you. I also thank you for the complete unconditional friendship that we have and the ability to laugh and shop together. You rock.

Thank you for setting such a beautiful example.

Ruby
XXX OOO

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All, Nathaniel and I have agreed to post a bit about his first punishment. He and I have come to the conclusion that it's easier for me to punish him by taking away privileges then by giving him physical pain.

For those of you who want the details read on:

1. When Jade came to visit, I IMed Nathaniel and asked him how he would please his miss if he was with me. We’d been looking forward to this, cause Nathaniel so wanted to meet Jade and Crafty.
2. He proceeded to thrill us with a description that would cause any lady to have an immediate pussy meltdown.
3. Then I told him to stop.
4. He got a bit carried away and didn't, even after a few warnings. Yes, I know how it is when someone is busy typing and not reading, but I wanted him to be paying attention to me and he wasn’t.
5. I called him on the phone, chastised him and made him apologize to Jade. Yes, it was hard on both of them and me. As usual, he was an angel, too hard on himself and Jade spoke to him assuring him and reiterating gently what he’d done wrong.
6. Since I felt he needed further punishment and I didn't want to reward him with a spanking, I made him take off something that I let him wear. He had to go without it for 3 hours.
7. It was difficult for both of us.
8. At the three hour mark, he was allowed to put the item back on.
9. Later when I checked up on him, I wanted to make sure that he knew it was over and done with. That he had been punished and forgiven and that I wouldn’t hold his mistake against him. Mistakes happen.

Ruby’s philosophy on this one:
If you make a mistake, say your sorry if you mean it, if not ask for forgiveness.
If you are punished, take it with grace, beauty and control of yourself.
As the one giving the punishment or accepting the apology, do so in the same manner and don’t bring it up to use it against that person in the future. Cause nobody’s perfect.