Quote Originally Posted by KSCouple4SLV
I grew up in the same fashion he did. Very conservative family that taught me never to hit girls and to follow the golden rule. As I grew older, I found I had all these desires that I was ashamed of and unfortuantely had no one to talk to about. For the longest time I just pushed them inside, hiding them from the world and myself. When I finally found others within the lifestyle that enjoyed the same things I did, I found out I wasn't alone in my feeling or thoughts.

What a relief that was for me. For the first time in my life, I could finally open up and be myself without worrying about what the others would think of me. As I researched this lifestyle more and more, I had to ask myself were the beliefs I was raised with really my beliefs. After a fews years of exploration, I gave myself permission to be the person that I really am - a Dominant male that gets turned on by having another person under my control and that it was OK to feel the way I did. I learned that a lot of women want a man that will take control and enforce their will.

I really think your husband needs to take a look at himself and the stuggles he has going on within himself. Until he comes to grip with the fact that he enjoys inflicting the pain that you crave, maybe he shouldn't play but do some research into the lifestyle and what it is he wants and you desire. Maybe look at what he really meant by what he said and why he would want to hurt you to get even with some deep seated resent he is carrying.

Thank you for putting forward your point of view. It was interesting to read it from somebody who has been there. When you think about it, much of this lifestyle goes against the vanilla world. It can be tough for those drawn to it, never mind for those who get into it to please a partner. He isn't a bad man, he's just confused by what I want and he doesn't understand it - my desires or his own.