I'm sorry about your pain, Sir. Wish I could be more helpful. I'm still figuring out how submissive I am myself, and appreciate all of your time and friendship very much.

On another track, though, I just found this particular thread the other day, and have been thinking about the basic premise here. The fact is, some people MAY just be 'barely submissive' and have different needs from someone who is extremely submissive. In ANY characteristic in ANY group of humans the only thing one can count on is that there are going to be differences between them and a RANGE of differences from very strong to barely there. For example, consider homosexuality; it's fairly easy to see that there are extremely hetero as well as extremely homosexual people in the world as well as a full range between the two of varying degrees of bisexuality. Why not consider that Dominance and submission characteristics can be the same? Some ARE barely submissive and would be a bad fit with a completely dominant personality. Just like in vanilla relationships, there are characteristics that are a bad fit and might not work over the long run and some that fit together extremely well.

I hope I've not spoken out of turn, since I am not only not sure of how submissive I am myself - I'm really just starting to discover and explore that in my own life, but new to the forums. It is also true that people can change and grow - kinda sad if they don't in life. I agree totally with Sir_Russell that in ANY relationship the parties need to communicate and respect each other, in order to grow together. 'nuff said.