tessa, thank you for the compliment - I'm new to the forums and it was very cool to be quoted in sombody else's comment for the first time. : )

Thank you Greyjack and Ayesha for your insights too. As a newbie to all of this, not just the forums, your well spoken (and definitely not rambling)thoughts are very welcome.

Parts of this life seem incredibly appealing, and parts are just plain scary to somebody coming into it for the first time, especially for the submissive. I know, Doms take risks emotionally too, but they still aren't risking being on the receiving end of an ER trip.

Personally, I tend to be too trusting, but having had to spend the last few years struggling to keep things together financially for me and my daughter after some REALLY sucky decisions made by my husband at the time, would make it hard, if not impossible, for me to ever just hand over decisions - at least those outside the bedroom- to anybody. Fortunately, some of these discussions are helping me see that it all comes down to what the individuals involved agree on. That's a huge thing for me - the communication in a good relationship, whether D/s or vanilla is going to make it or break it.