I think that the longer you stress over saying vs not saying the more likely you are to drive yourself crazy. lol

Saying those words should be organic to the person and to the moment. I've said it first, I've said it and gotten both the horrible silence and the 'that's nice' response, its been said to me first. Every relationship is different.

If, instead of the feeling, you're more concerned about the game of who says it first, then I think you should go back and reasses your feelings. Love isn't one up-manship.

That being said, many men seem to be socialized to not be as in touch with their feelings. They might assume that you know what they feel (ie Naomisagoodgirl's Master thinking she was a silly girl for having to ask). They aren't actually holding out on you, they just think it goes without saying.