Euryleia -- you had some very valid points. I am still stressing about it and it's absolutely driving me crazy! I swear i'm telling him the next time I see him in person. I think your pointing out that sometimes it's not so much them holding out on us but them thinking it goes without saying is a very valid one and I never thought of it that way even though he (self) admittedly doesn't do well talking about his feelings.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and stories. Naomi -- I think you're correct in that Dom's tend to be more stoic in their feelings which is why i think that it does indeed make a difference if it's a Ds relationship or a vanilla one.