WOW! Reading your plight, sounds like reading my own journal, devilkisses!

That is exactly what I have been through with Barton, for 2 years, since we started D/s. Apparently, what I wanted out of our relationship, ultimately, was not what He wanted. Nor was anything that He was capable of changing, quite enough to suit my needs. We have started/ stopped our D/s play, more times than I can count, just like you've decided recently.

We always start it up, again, after much research and discussions. It is truly something we both want, just in different ways. Currently, in our newest version, I have been the one to back down on my innermost fantasies and desires, and made our play~ just THAT~ "play". It has created some satisfying scenes.

However, like Ruby suggested, if I get into subspace, and the entire flavor turns sour because of His actions/reactions, I end the scene and walk away. Actually, I usually curl up alone somewhere and cry! After all, at this point I am sexually and emotionally frustrated. He usually catches on, and will come hug-sooth me, but the "play" is definitely over for that night. No sense in tearing ourselves up inside, over losing at a 'game', now, is there?

I, personally, will live with this. He, as He loves me very much, continues to try to learn to compromise for me, and learn as much as possible about fulfilling my needs. It is, and will continue to be, like a difficult college-level class.....something that will ALWAYS take tons of effort, on both our parts. Ultimately, though, while never quite satisfying 100% of our individual desires, it will satisfy some parts of who/what each of us are. After all, all relationships are built around give and take, no?