"Barely Submissive"- A Question of Being

[tessa]

tessa... what else do you think you might learn from me?

<<== likes whipping creamy cherries.

Something like that, maybe? Seriously Oz, I learn something from you most every time I read what you write. (I won't say "every time" as your ego probably doesn't need any more stroking than that.)

Most importantly, it emphasizes the need for mutual trust and clear, open, emotional communication.

Anything that promotes that vital need is worth the reading.

Sure, strive to be more...but it has to be more "you" whatever that may mean at any given time. As imperfect humans, we can easily misinterpret one thing for another, trust for suspicion, concern for jealousy, and strength for weakness. Don't the participants in every relationship create mutually accepted definitions of what these things are and mean? So should it be with the arbitrary terms "slave" "sub" "Master" "Domina", or whatever other terms, you use to identify yourself by? Otherwise, we sink into dogma and cant and relationships become fossilized into lifeless rite and ritual. We're better than that.

YES! Exactly that. Using the term "fossilized" provides the concreteness to the abstract. Without the continual evolution of growth and change, the connection will become stagnant and lifeless. Ick. No thanks. I'm for more. And more. More of me, more of him, more of Us.

Everyone has different dynamics in how they view BDSM, lifestyle, marriage and what a dom or sub means to them.

And that's perfectly acceptable. We all define for ourselves. It's the individualness of it all that creates the special qualities each of us can bring into our own lives.

I have refused to allow inner walls that I built to protect myself to drop and then I never could really feel what becoming open and vulnerable to another means. If you ever find that place once then you can go there again if you really allow yourself to believe that it will free you.

It is very freeing, isn't it? In a way that is impossibly difficult to describe, but so incredible to experience.

Exploring the feelings and doubts the way you are is not an easy thing to do when most people would perhaps take it as some sort of failure. I think it is a sign of strength to struggle to understand your fears, how you are strong and how you want to become. I hope this makes sense and is not too rambling...

I think you said it just the way it needed to be said. Especially this part. Especially for me. Thank you.

tessa, thank you for the compliment - I'm new to the forums and it was very cool to be quoted in sombody else's comment for the first time. : )

You are most welcome. Thank you for providing the words to quote in the first place. And don't I love being someone's first.

tessa