Thanks again for responding, the support from everyone in this forum has been amazing and priceless. I can't believe that I found such friendly and helpful people who, to top it all off, actually care about the plights of others.

Sorry if my replies are long, but I want to respond to each person individually, since you all took the time and energy to reply to me.

sensualist - I think you may be right about it being about other issues, every relationship has plenty of them. Perhaps He doesn't respect me period, but I pray that this is not the case. I think that He is also having trouble with the fact that I'm different from other people period, I think that the worst thing in life would be to be ordinary ... 'normal' (didn't someone in American Beauty say something like that). This is just another way that I'm different from His past girlfriends (something I'm proud of, after all I'm still around ) and His friends girlfriends. And it is very difficult to try to show Him what I want since He is new to this, hell I'm new to this too - I just wanted it to be a journey we took together, not one where one of us is left at the side of the road to cry.

Katmandu - Isn't it wonderful when you think you're the only one experiencing a particular problem, and then find that there are others who are in the exact same shoes??? I appreciate you letting me know that, it gives me hope for the future. I like that you are willing to live with the problems that come with it, after all the guys are trying for us aren't they? It's not like they are purposely ruining our fantasies or hurting our souls, I honestly believe that. I end up crying alone too and He's standing there asking me why I'm so upset - it was just a joke.

feelfree2mailme - You may be right, although I hope and pray that you aren't. I don't want Him to lose respect for me over this, I haven't lost respect for myself. I think it's liberating to say "this is what I need" and refuse to feel like it's shameful - it has made me more comfortable with myself. You know that feeling when you slip on a sexy dress and think "this dress was made for me to wear it", that's kinda how submitting makes me feel. Thank you very much for your blunt response - truth can hurt sometimes can't it! I may need to go back to a vanilla relationship with Him if He can't understand, which would be a shame because I never really enjoyed sex before this, let alone housework lol - leaving Him is NOT an option He's my man and I don't believe in abandoning my man because He can't give me everything I need/want.

learningtopleez - Thanks for the support and sharing of your stories, it always makes me feel better to have people who have felt similar things. I hope that we can work it out as well because it was amazing when He didn't laugh, and there were plenty of times when He didn't. It must have been wonderful for you to have someone like Max to learn and grow with. The way you described feeling is what I'm looking for, a sense of love, peace, and that you're exactly where you're meant to be in the world. *sigh* Nothing and nobody is perfect though, and I might do better if I remind myself that sometimes . . . that and He can't read my mind. I need to tell Him when He's doing something I think, not after it never seems to have the same effect.

Well guys, I came looking for advice and I got it plus warnings, help, stories and a huge helping of good-old-fashioned kindness. Thanks the world could do with more people like this!

Love and Hugs
Devilkisses

I'd rather be hated for who I am, then loved for who I'm not