Quote Originally Posted by alpha_Straye View Post
i think id been holding off saying it because i didnt want to admit it, didnt want to risk being wrong, admitting to myself that i'd found my One for life and therefore risking that i might lose Him, might be left, might be fooled... and then i said it anyways and i knew without a doubt that it was true and i was right..



You put that very well -- that's exactly the first half of the battle I had with myself. I still remember the exact moment I realized I loved him and it scared me half to death. I have pretty thick walls and to realize I was completely vulnerable to this person heart, body, and mind was terrifying. It took me about a week to admit it to myself and accept it before I was ready to tell him, and then it was like a switch flipped, it was ready to burst out of me but I had to find the perfect time, mood, and place -- why ? I don't know. I finally ended up saying it but only because I couldn't not anymore and I was sick of trying to analyze and wait for the perfect situation (which it definitely wasn't) We had just played, I was laying on top of him, he was still inside me and I finally just blurted it out. It took a few seconds (or what seemed like minutes) and I got the smile, "and i love you" as he wrapped his arms around me tightly. With all that was going on at that moment it was probably a bit unfair to say it for the first time but the agonizing was over and I believed him when he said it back. It's been a few weeks and while we don't say it every time we talk, it's been said every time we've seen each other and most importantly I feel immensely in the way he looks at me and touches me.